Thursday, December 26, 2013

Isaiah Jedi

I just wrote half of this post, and then accidentally deleted it. I kind of want to punch my computer in the face. Since I can't do that, I'm going to abbreviate my first post about my son, Isaiah Jedi Smith.

I posted it on Facebook, and I think he has one of the coolest names ever. Isaiah means 'Salvation of God'. Jedi is short for Jedidiah, which means 'Beloved by God'. But let me stop lying. I was thinking about Star Wars when I picked it out. My wife agree to it over a year ago. I spent the last year reminding her she agreed, and she spent the time trying to get out of her deal. She lost. A Jedi is also a guardian of peace and justice in the galaxy, as defined by George Lucas and Star Wars. Smith, is a generic name of a worker or craftsman. My son is 'saved by God', 'Beloved by God', and sanctioned to save and protect the galaxy. Go, kid. Go!

But that's not the first thing I think about when I look at my son. Most babies are really ugly. Their heads are shaped weird, they have a strange color, and they smell like hell. But not my son. I know everyone says their baby is gorgeous. I fully expected him to look like a #SNL #Conehead, but he doesn't. Everyone we talk to, says Isaiah is gorgeous, and better looking than their own babies. That's nuts. But true. He's my son, he's got to be a hottie.

I frequently look at Isaiah, and can't believe that I helped make this little person. We picked a name, and now he's gonna be called that for the rest of his life. It's crazy. I can't believe God let us have this responsibility. This little maniac is now not just my offspring. He's part of all of my family, and part of all of Kate's family. Nurses and doctors were waiting for his first passed gas, to make sure his digestion was healthy. He farted literally, 30 seconds after I did, in my sleep.How crazy is that? Even newborn and asleep, we fart together. And he sleeps the same way I do. Talking, flailing, and rolling around like a maniac.

It makes no sense, but I'm getting used to it, somehow. I don't understand how he knows me. I don't understand how he figures out how to nurse. I especially don't understand how he likes Kate and I. But he likes us, and he knows that he loves us. I'll take it, and I'll hug him until I squish him.

Poor dog. Pepper Potts is jealous..

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

#Arrow and The Hero's Dilemma

This may very well be my last post before the baby comes. I'm not sorry, because I'm more excited about being a father than I ever have been about writing. With that in mind, I'm also sorry I haven't written more about #Scandal as #ShondaRhimes has been blowing my mind over the last few weeks. We will see if I can watch the mid season finale, tomorrow, and NOT write about it.

First off, #Arrow. Last week was really good, this week's episode almost melted my face. I've been dying for Arrow to introduce more #DC heroes. I like how the producers have flirted with the idea of #BlackCanary while still not revealing whether it'll end up being Sara or Laurel Lance. A good friend of mine says it'll be Laurel, but I guess we'll just have to see. Same thing with #Speedy and #TheRedArrow. I like #RoyHarper as the Red Arrow, and I like Thea Queen as Speedy. I hadn't caught it before, but #OliverQueen referred to Thea as 'Speedy'. In the comics they are overlapping characters. I'm not sure if the producers have figured out how they are going to resolve that for the show's purposes. And finally, a real superhero, #TheFlash.

I was afraid they'd do something goofy to bring him in. So far, Arrow has tried to stay away from super powered heroes and villains. A very good idea, in my opinion. Especially after #Smallville, which was just freak-of-the-week during the early seasons. Instead, we got an origin story for the Flash. They hinted that he had some powers, but the explosion in the lab was true to comic book lore, and a great way to introduce the character. I see a spinoff series, in the future. But, how the hell can The Flash, who's superpower is speed, be late to everything? It makes no sense. Barry Allen's attraction to #FelicitySmoak is cute, fine. But I'm biased. If #EmilyBettRickards is going to have an on screen romance, I want it to be with Ollie. Or me. Actually, forget Ollie. Just me.

Slade Wilson's evolution into #Deathstroke has been an awesome story arc for this, the second season of Arrow. We already knew he was a badass. Now he's a badass with a grudge, and an eye patch. Only #SamJackson looks better with a patch #NickFury. And he's black, so I give him a leg up if the two were ever to meet.

My last thing about Arrow, is something I've been bitching about since the first episode. His disguise and alter ego are complete rubbish. How stupid could these people be? Detective Lance #PeterBlackthorne, Isabel Rochev #SummerGlau, Thea Queen #WillaHolland, and Roy Harper #ColtonHaynes all know that Oliver's personal assistant and his driver are familiar with #TheVigilante. Oliver is also about the same size, weight, and body mass as the Arrow. Put the pieces together, morons. Arrow doesn't even wear a mask. Until today. The Flash pointed how lazy the face paint was as a disguise, and even left him the new mask as a present. It was about damn time. "Even The Arrow deserves a Christmas present!!!" Thanks, #StephenAmell. I took that quote straight off of your #twitter.

#TheHerosDilemma is something that has been driving me nuts for as long as I've read comic books, or watched movies about superheros, which is my whole life. Whenever a villain wants to put a hero in a difficult situation they resort to the same old trick. "You must choose who I am going to kill, or I'll kill both." The Joker made Batman choose between Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes, and now Oliver was made to choose between #Shado and Sara Lance. Ultimately, it's all bullshit. Maybe it's all of the cop shows I watch. You are not responsible for what the #badguy does, the blame goes on him #SurvivorGuilt. Or maybe it's the #JimKirk in me that doesn't believe in no-win scenarios #StarTrek. Either way, I think the good guy should always just tell the bad guy to piss off. "I'm not choosing someone to die. You do it, criminal". I don't know if that's what they'd teach me at the police academy, or Starfleet Academy. But if our heroes started doing that, it would definitely take a playing card away from the enemy.

Hopefully, my next post will be about how cool it was watching my son be born. Lord knows, my wife is ready to get that kid out of her belly, and I'm ready too. If that's the case, I'll see you all next week. If not, I'll probably bitch on Saturday about how my son doesn't want to meet me. Either way...

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios." -James Tiberius Kirk

Thursday, December 5, 2013

#DerrickRose #ChicagoBulls #NBA

If you're from #Chicago, you've probably done by now what we all have done. You've made a vow that you will not keep, to not watch any #ChicagoBaseball. You've removed the #Bulls and #Bears from your DVR. You are now hunkering down for the #Blackhawks, and you're planning a summer of camping, beaches, and generally staying away from sports. Because the old #ChicagoSports motto is back in play. "Here we go again. You just wait until next year."

For the second time in as many years, #DerrickRose season is over due to injury. The Bulls' 2012 season, what was optimistically supposed to be 'The Bulls Year', ended with a torn left ACL. There was reason to be hopeful, however, that Rose would be back in time to make a playoff run, should the Bulls qualify. They did qualify, but Rose wasn't ready yet to play. The fans and the media gave him a lot of shit, fair or not, for not coming back. They said he lacked heart, or mental discipline. They said that if he really wanted to be on the court he would be. 

Now, not yet 20 games into the season, I'm experiencing a serious case of dejavu. In a fluke injury on Nov. 22, Derrick turned around to head back down the court, and tore his right meniscus. We hoped it wasn't serious when it happened, but surgery on the 25th, belied those hopes. In a press conference today (Dec. 5th) Rose again, though less adamantly, said that he would return for a playoff run if all of the ducks lined up. Hats off to my baby brother. Before anyone knew any details of the injury, he told me that Derrick was not coming back for the rest of the year. After details of the injury and surgery were released he sent me a snarky text, "I told you so."

And the fans are pissed again. Last year #DRose signed a $250 million deal with #Addidas, and as of May, 2013 #SportsIllustrated lists him as the 7th highest earning athlete. He's now got deals with Powerade, Wilson Sporting Goods, Skullcandy, 2K Sports, and is even a part owner Giordano's Pizza. All of that, more than last year's complaints that he had no heart, have made some of the fans go a little bit nuts. "He doesn't care about the team, he just wants to get paid," is a very popular sentiment, here in Chicago. Just turn on a sports talk radio station, or check #Twitter or #Facebook. It's everywhere. It helped matters none whatsoever that when asked today about his frame of mind D-Rose mentioned his his rehab plans, his son, his business plans. He did say that possibly maybe God was trying to tell him something, but maybe you don't want to talk about your money, Derrick. 

I honestly am not sure how I feel about the whole situation. Like any fan, I'm disappointed. In Chicago we know how much it sucks to lose your franchise player. (#Cutler, I'm looking in your direction.) As a #WhiteSox fan, nothing drives me nuts more than hearing "Wait until next year" (now I'm looking in your direction #Cubs). But, I guess it is that time of year for the Bulls. Because regardless of whether or not the Bulls make the playoffs, which they won't, Rose will not be back again this year. Same as last year, he's got too much to lose by rushing. He mentioned in his interview that his career will be judged by #Championships. And he's right. Even right now, no one cares about MVP awards, or points per game, or triple doubles. All we want in this city, is rings.

Regarding his attitude, I'm not entirely sure about that either. I have to say, his tone now, sounds much different compared to last year's. He sounds more calm, more confident, and I have to say, a little bit defiant. When asked how he would respond to someone that said he was not trustworthy, injury prone, or that the Bulls should move on he responded, "What can I say to that? You can be a fool if you want to." He also talked about his new confidence in the rehab process, and all but guaranteed that he'd return to full form. [I play hard. That's just the type of player I am, and I'm never gonna stop.] To me all of that sounds like toughness.

I think he's a winner. The only problem with being a winner, is that you can't win if you don't play. I want to see him play basketball. Now. I'm not gonna hate on a guy for making money. But seeing these dumbass headphone commercials, and his face on the cover of video games is like a slap in the face. But I don't know him. Who am I to say he's tough, or mentally weak, or selfish. All I am is a fan, and all that matters to me are marks in the win column. So to Derrick Rose all I can fairly say is do your thing. Rehab. Get well, and get your ass back on that court asap. Chicago is thirsty for another winning team. 

#GoBlackhawks

Friday, November 29, 2013

#TheDayOfTheDoctor #DoctorWho50thAnniversary #SpoilersSweetie

Since the first time I cracked open my first book, watched my first video, or visited the theatre for the first time I have had no problem rereading or rewatching my favorite things. I've read the #Hobbit about fifteen times, watched #ThePrincessBride in the range of two-hundred times, and it's not unusual for me to buy multiple tickets in advance, to see the same movie in the theatre up to five times. So it should be no surprise that I waited to blog about #TheDayOfTheDoctor until I'd seen it at least three times. The first time, I was just in awe the entire time. The second time, I started catching details I had missed. And the third time, I was finally able to assemble the entire experience in my puny brain. I regret not seeing it in the theatre, but that's my only complaint. Mostly.

I'm not gonna give you a full recap. Honestly, that'd be a waste of my time. I'd rather rewatch it (again) than write a scene by scene breakdown. What I will do is mention some highlights, critique the episode as a whole, and share some of my favorite quotations. There are also some questions I'd like to discuss, and some complaints I'd like to address. A warning for the uninitiated. #Spoilers, spoilers and more spoilers. Also, I have three separate sets of notes for this, so at times I may jump around.

Right off the bat, I was hooked. Because I've watched so much of the newer #DoctorWho my brain couldn't help create dialogue I would have liked to have seen during this celebration episode. (All of my made up dialogue got a special "J" notation in my notes, and will be in brackets in this blog.) Clara rode her motorcycle straight into the #TARDIS for her first scene with #MattSmith. Right then, I thought it would have been cool if she'd have said something like, [I ride a motorbike now. Motorbike's are cool.]  Because of that absurd, amazing thought I missed something that blew my mind on my third viewing of the episode. The Doctor smiles but pretty much mock-ignores her until after he complains about the draft from the open TARDIS doors, AND CLARA SNAPS HER FINGERS AND THE DOORS CLOSE!!!  Holy crap, indeed. #RiverSong told The Doctor in season 4 episode 9 (4x9) he'd be able to do it, he starts doing it, and now, with no further explanation, Clara can do it. Well, she can close the doors, anyway. I don't know what that means, but then again, Clara IS 'The Impossible Girl'.

"Rose Tyler. No. Yes. No? Yes, sorry. in this form I'm called #BADWOLF. Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor?

I really wasn't thrilled with #BilliePiper returning as an artificial intelligence during my first viewing. I wanted Rose, and I wanted to watch her interact with Matt Smith and Clara. After I had some time to think about it (though not quite 400 years), I changed my mind. We've seen #companions interact before. Think of Donna and Martha, and Rose/Mickey/SarahJane/K9. I don't know that a Clara/Rose meeting would have added anything to the story other than shtick. It also allowed Rose to do and say anything without consequently affecting the story. Well almost. She did accidentally call two Doctors from different times. My #DW brain added a line to that scene. "Ok, I wasn't expecting that. [Oops, I've called too many Doctors.]" She also reminded the Doctors they were the same person with the same #SonicScrewdriver which was a pretty big deal story-wise. All in all, Billie as the artificial intelligence worked pretty well and I can't complain.

I'm going to gloss over the #Zygons, because for story telling purposes, it really didn't matter who the villain was. It could have been #Daleks, #Cyberman or #WeepingAngels and the story would have just needed a little tweaking. I did worry for a bit that the statues were Weeping Angels. #DontBlink those things are damned creepy. The Zygons did provide some entertaining exchanges with Queen Elizabeth I. #DavidTennant, thinking that Elizabeth was the alien changeling proposes marriage to her, and she accepts. "Oh, it was the horse! Oh. I'm gonna be King." A few seconds later she kisses him goodbye and tells him she needs him alive for the wedding. "Oh, good one, Doctor. Nice one. You've already agreed. So much for history." Oh, that Doctor. Such a #rulebreaker.

A lot of old school fans of Doctor Who (they weren't called #Whovians then) don't like Tennant and Smith because they believe they lack this thing called #gravitas. They think he's too goofy, never takes things seriously, blah blah blah. I don't agree. Watch enough of them, and you see how serious #TheOncomingStorm can be. Regardless, I don't think even those old schoolers can dispute the fact that #JohnHurt was bloody brilliant. He made us laugh without being 'funny'. He was sad without being depressing. Above all else he was the #WarDoctor while still being the #Doctor. When Hurt asks Smith and Tennant if they are the Doctor's companions (they get younger all the time), check out Tennant's face. I died. And when Hurt says to them both, "You're me? In the future? Even that one (Smith)?" I died again.

Surprisingly, people still had complaints about 'The Day of the Doctor'. I'll address what I can.

#Moffat threw fundamental rules of #DW out of the window. The Doctor can never cross his own timeline. There can't be more than 12 Doctors. First of all, it's not just the #haters that need a reminder. All of the #sciencefiction nerds that break down #StarTrek #OnceUponATime #Stargate #BackToTheFuture, and every other tv show or movie that deals with time travel need to remember. We're talking about something that's not real. It doesn't have to make complete scientific sense 100% of the time. It's pretend, and it's fun. Stop being a #buzzkill. Also, since you're going to break it down anyway, keep this in mind. Time travel breaks the laws of physics at a fundamental level. That, by the rules of science, implies that there are no rules. Only theories, hypothesis, and guesses. It's a #wibblywobbly kind of thing, and there are plenty of ways to adjust our precepts to fit canon. #Canon being, whatever the writers say is true, is true. Chill. Secondly, DW canon says there can be only 12 regenerations, NOT only 12 Doctors. The first Doctor was just the Doctor. Every subsequent Doctor being the result of a regeneration means there are 13 total Doctors at the end. I have no idea how #PeterCapaldi will be explained or where the story goes next. But it's not my job. My job is to set a block of time aside to watch and enjoy it.

Lastly, before I list my favorite quotations of the episode, I'd like to throw my thoughts and minor complaints into the hat.

1. I really would have liked to have seen #CaptainJackHarkness and River make an appearance. I don't know what more I would have liked, but I wanted more than those little #EasterEggs.
2. John Hurt as the 9th(?) Doctor should totally get a miniseries or something, chronicling some of his adventures as The Doctor.
3. My friend Hayley, and lots of other Whovians, insist you could see John Hurt regenerating into #ChrisEcclston. After three full viewings, and watching the clips repeatedly, I still don't see it.
4. "The Adventures of Galllifrey in the Pocket Universe" Enough said.
5. How did the 3D painting end up in the archive? #TomBaker made a vague reference to it being "..acquired under remarkable circumstances". I can't wait to find what those circumstances were.
6. I think Dr. Osgood would make a pretty cool companion. She's already got the scarf, and she's convinced the Doctor will save her. #SaveTheDay Plus, she yanks the scarf out from under a Zygon's foot. That would definitely land her in a #NHL penalty box for tripping. "I've always wanted to meet someone named 'Yes'."
7. I really wanted to hear one of the Doctors yell, "This planet is under my protection!"
8. This was hard to catch, and it may be pure speculation on my part. Tom Baker says, "Who knows? Who knows (tapping his nose)." I saw it during my first viewing as, [Who, if anyone knows? Doctor Who knows.] Pretty cool, huh?
9. Kate Stewart mentions to Clara that she has top level clearance from her last visit to Unit. Last visit? Um, what? Clara is as confused as we are.

I could go on and on. Suffice it to say, I loved it. If I keep speculating I could ruin the #DoctorWhoChristmasSpecial for myself, and everyone. I'm that clever. I'll leave you with just a few favorite quotations, in no particular order, and wait for you to contact me so that we can ruin it together. Thanks as always for your attention. Fanboy, out.

1. "Would you mind telling these prattling mortals to get themselves begone?!" -Smith
2. "Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols!" -Hurt
3. "Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light to flame, no matter the cost." -Hurt
4. "Alien technology plus human stupidity. Trust me, it's unbeatable." -Smith
5. "Timey Wimey?" -Hurt "I have no idea where he picks that stuff up." -Tennant
6. "Think about it. Americans with the ability to rewrite history. You've seen their movies." -Kate Stewart
7. "Dear God. Three of them. All my worst nightmares at once." -Timelord

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Best Relationships on TV - TV's NYPD - Sweeps

Pretty consistently, I can say that my favorite episodes from any show, any year, are during #PremiereSeason and #FinaleSeason. Maybe this is a special year, or maybe I don't always remember mid-season episodes, but 2013s #Sweeps #NielsonRatings have been kicking my ass. The possible return of 3XK on #Castle, #CriminalMinds visiting Chicago, Olivia's 'One Question' on #Scandal, and the last to #SVU episodes are just examples of how my mind has been blown this year. I hope you've been watching, because there are too many different shows and episodes to recap. Instead, I'll give you my two favorite of the season (so far).

#Hawaii5O - They teased us at the beginning of the season, telling us that #ChiMcBride would be joining the cast. He was there, and then he was gone. Finally, last week, he showed up again as the angry Hawaii PD's Captain Lou Grover. According to #CBS he'll be sticking around this time. Of course it had to happen just before all the shows go on break for the holidays, but I'll take it. His character is a lot like Dann-O but a little tougher, with even more disdain for how Steve does things. "You have a very angry dispotion [Steve], do you know that?" Remember a couple of things when you watch this ep. The first three minutes are possibly the best three minutes of sweeps this year, #5O on horses is kind of silly, Kona was conspicuously absent most of the ep, and that's definitely #ImagineDragons on the soundtrack. Very cool.

#PersonOfInterest - I'll do my best to avoid #spoilers, but I promise nothing. Too much happened in this, the best episode of the show. It was that could. I think I may have said this about other television characters, but it's especially true of Detective Carter. That woman is a damn bloodhound. We've seen it in the last couple of episodes. When she locks in on a scent, she doesn't quit. And when she gets her teeth around that bone, she is not letting go. She's a monster. Another monster, is Detective Fusco. Previously we saw him look HR right in the face and pretty much tell them, "I'm not afraid of you anymore, blow it out your ass." He doesn't slow down this week either. The bad guys break his hand, and so what does Fusco do? He breaks his own thumb. Holy cow. How about another cold-hearted monster? Shaw. Shaw has to make a tough decision to save one of two people, both in need of saving. I think she made the right decision, and she made it quickly, and decisively. #SarahShahi is one gorgeous killer. The last beast of the show will show what a badass he is next week. I can't wait to see angry Reece.

Problems with the NYPD - I noticed this week on SVU how screwed up the department's officers, detectives, and even the captain is. Then, it occurred to me that a couple of other shows have some 'questionable' practices taking place in the NYPD. How screwed up are you allowed to be before you're thrown off the force? SVU first, because it's got the biggest problems.

SVU - Almost everyone one them have serious character flaws, or major personal problems. Are these issues ignored? None of them are able to maintain a relationship.Do the issues exist because of the heinous job they have to do, or in spite of it? 

Captain Cragen is the boss. He's a recovering alcoholic, sober for something like 20 years. He is also divorced.
Sergeant Benson is now the first in command. She's been raped twice, killed her abuser in cold blood, had a father that abused her mother, and frequently sees or is told to go see the precinct shrink.
Detective Stabler was Benson's previous partner. He was divorced, with five children, and as a result was always good dealing with victims and families' of child abuse. A side effect of his sympathy was a difficulty with controlling his rage towards perpetrators, and having difficulty separating his feeling towards his family from his assigned cases. He had to take a leave of absence because of this, and never came back.
Sergeant Munch was the oldest member of the SVU team. He was a conspiracy theorist, and has been married and divorced three times. He maintains close relationships with each ex-wife.
Detective Rollins is one of the newest members of the teams. She is a compulsive gambler, and frequently attends Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Most recently, she was dating her sponsor. She and her sponsor were manipulated by murder suspect, who killed her stalkee, after accusing him of murder. Rollins has a younger sister whom is mentally ill, has a long rap sheet, and a penchant for dating criminals. Rollins shot and killer her sister's scumbag boyfriend when she walked in on an attempted rape. It was recommended she see the precinct shrink, but instead we last see her at a blackjack table. 
Detecives Amaro and 'Fin' Tutuola are the least troubled. It should be noted that Amaro is on bad terms with his ex-wife and occasionally must neglect his job to care for his child. Fin transferred to Special Victims from Vice Squad and has spent a lot of time undercover.

Person of Interest- The majority of the first two season has been battling corrupt NYPD police officers involved with an organized crime syndicate referred to as HR. Detective Fusco was previously a member, and Detective Carter's romantic interest was killed by HR. I don't know what HR stands for but I wish I didn't think of 'Human Resources'.

#Castle - This is more of an amusement than a complaint, because I love the show. It seems inexcusable how much trouble Castle is able to get himself into without getting pushed out the door. I realize he's friends with the mayor, maybe that's a poor reflection on the mayor. Even though it's cool, Castle should not have a vest, and Beckett should have a real partner besides a well celebrated crime novelist. 

There are other examples, of course. I just chose the ones from shows I like the best. Please feel free to comment and critique my opinions, or suggest other shows that have worse examples of a city's corruption or irresponsibility. #ChicagoFire, I'm looking in your direction.

Lastly is a list of the Best Relationships on TV. You know I love lists. I made a list of ten, in no particular order, and I'm sure I forget a bunch. Which on my list is your favorite? Chime in. Which relationships suck and shouldn't be on the list? Chime in. Which relationships did I forget to mention that should be on my list? Chime in. Thanks as always for reading. I'll be getting ready to watch, and watching #TheDayofTheDoctor and #CatchingFire this weekend, but I'm always looking for your input. #Sayonara fanboys and fangirls.

The Doctor & Clara - #DoctorWho
Bones & Booth - #Bones
Morgan & Garcia - #CriminalMinds
Castle & Beckett - #Castle
Sheldon & Leonard - #TheBigBangTheory
Sherlock & Watson - #Sherlock
The Doctor & The Tardis - #DoctorWho
Burke & Caffrey - #WhiteCollar
Steve & Dann-O - #Hawaii5O
Olivia & Huck - #Scandal

Monday, November 18, 2013

Doctor Who Season 7

I'm so excited for #SaveTheDay #TheDayOfTheDoctor that I had to re-watch season seven and post the best quotation from every episode. It's so much fun going back and getting ready. "Run you clever boy, and remember."

7.1 Run you clever boy, and remember.
7.2 Souffles? Against the Daleks? Where did you get the milk?
7.3 I'm riding a dinosaur, on a spaceship.
7.4 His name is Susan and he wants you to respect his life choices.
7.5 To save you, I could do anything, Rory.
7.6 And if I'm ever in the need of advice from a psychotic-potato-dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know.
7.7 You know what I always say about plans. I don't have one.
7.8 I think I may have made a tactical boo-boo.
7.9 Hold hands.That's what you're meant to do. Keep doing that, and don't let go.
7.10 Hello, I'm looking for a ghost. And who are you? Ghostbusters.
7.11 Don't get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn't anyone ever teach you that?
7.12 Hang on, I've got a sonic screwdriver. Yea? I've got a chair.
7.13 I trust the Doctor. Think he knows what he's doing? "I wouldn't go that far."
7.14 It'd better be important. I was in the middle of destroying some very pleasant primitives.

Friday, November 8, 2013

#AmericanHorrorStory and other #TV

You may have noticed that I have been posting less entries than usual about all of my favorite television shows, and the shows I watch (they're not always the same thing). There are several reasons for this.

1. Most shows slow down after the premiere weeks. Some of it is because producers have to make the premieres so exciting. Some of it is because MLB's playoffs and the #NFL is in full swing, and the #NHL and #NBA are just starting. #Bones #Castle #NCIS #Hawaii5O #PersonOfInterest #SVU are all good examples. (Interesting that those are all cop shows.) And #Glee got preempted by the #WorldSeries a few times.

2. Another reason I've tried to write about other topics is it gets boring and repetitive to always be talking about the same crap over and over again. #Bears win. Bears lose. #Arrow and #Elementary were awesome this week! Have you watched the newest #WalkingDead and #Homeland yet? Blah blah repetitive blah. I've got to mix it up sometimes, or you'll quit reading, and I'll quit writing.

3. There are also some shows that started later, or haven't yet premiered. #WhiteCollar started later than premiere season, #MikeAndMolly are on their second episode and we haven't even gotten #Nikita #DW #DoctorWho or #Community back yet. #IsItNov23rdYet

4. Comedies are kind of boring to take notes and then write about. They're great but they're also only 22 minutes long. So far the best comedies of the year are #Brooklyn99 #LastManStanding #HowIMetYourMother #TheCrazyOnes and #TheBigBangTheory #TBBT. Hard to say anything about them if at any point to you had to pee, eat, or smoke. You probably missed a nice percentage of the actual show if you took a break.

5. My last reason for taking a break is my favorite, and anyone reading this has some explaining to do. I only know of two people that regularly read this blog. The first is my wife, who has no choice. If she wants dinner when she gets home, that's her penance. The second is my single follower, one of my best friends, who watches almost as much television as I do, and will do whatever I say (within reason) just because I ask her to. So if you read this, comment. Like it. Shoot me an email, Facebook critique, or snarky tweet. I'll appreciate it, and I'll always respond. And thanks.

Good reasons, aren't they? I think so, and if you disagree, you're probably just wrong. But back to #TV, and here are my brief thoughts on the newest season of #AmericanHorrorStoryCoven.

I honestly wasn't that excited about the new season. I thought #AmericanHorrorStoryAsylum was dragging a little bit at the end of the second season. I was really afraid #Coven would follow the same suit, but I have to admit, #RyanMurphy and #BradFalchuk caught me by surprise. The new story arc grabbed me by the second episode, and episodes four and five are definitely my favorite so far.

Even more than I enjoy the new arc, witches, and the wonders, I love the cast and the characters they play.

#JessicaLange, as usual, is one bad bitch. No way Fiona isn't "The Supreme". And she'll stay that way until someone kills her, hopefully Zoe, #TaissaFarmiga. #FrancesConroy as Myrtle and #SarahPaulson as Cordelia are super fun to watch as innocent, ignorant victims but I can't believe that's going to last. When the revenge hits, it's going to be violent, gruesome, and awesome.

But the best part of the cast is definitely the new members. This is not #KathyBates first rodeo is a creepy old lady. It's perfect casting, and definitely kicking it up a notch to make her a racist witch. When she looks freaked out, I get more freaked out. When she gets angry, I just about want to turn the show off and watch some #Disney.

#AngelaBassett is brilliant in everything she's been in, and a super-hot black woman. That makes her even scarier as a N'awlins Voodoo queen. In this instance, I find her scarier than Bates. Angela has an advantage, thought,  as we previously got to see #Bates in #HarrysLaw and #TheOffice. Definitely less scary than #Misery.

My absolute favorite person in the new season is #GaboureySidibe as #Queenie. She plays the perfect blend of bad-ass witch, unknowing little girl, and strong-black-woman-who-will-cut-you-if-you-say-the-wrong-thing. At random points in season three, she puts people in their place, thanks them for protecting her, and just hangs out as the sarcastic comic relief. One the few notes I took about this season reads, "Not only is Precious a main character now, she's AWESOME!" I was really worried Fiona was going to kill her at the end of episode five. Now I'm just worried that her character is going to become weak as the season progresses. Don't let them do it to Queenie, Gabourey! Stay alive, kick ass, and stick around to the next season!

Thanks, again for reading my nonsense. Next up are my thoughts on the legalization of same-sex marriage in IL, Thor, and whatever my #Bears do on Sunday. #AlphaMikeFoxtrot


Thursday, November 7, 2013

Week 10 #FantasyFootball and #ChicagoSports

A crazy thing is happening with my two fantasy football teams this year. I share one team with my wife in a couples' league and manage another on my own. Somehow, inexplicably, both teams are competitive. The last 2 weeks have been rough with #byeweeks and losing #AaronRodgers, but we're still sporting winning records. And though I play fantasy baseball and football every year, my teams are never good. Below are both of my #winning rosters.

The Fury - Record (5-4), 7th place - This is the team I manage myself, named for The Chicago Fury minor league hockey team. Incidentally Chicago also has a women's roller derby team, and an ABA basketball team that share the name. This league has two flex positions where you can start your choice WR, RB, or TE. I don't like having two flex positions. Even more than I don't like two flex spots, I have to start one defensive player who's only countable statistics are solo tackles and touchdowns. Which means every week I need to scour the free agent pool to start some player I most likely have never heard of.

QB- Ben Roethlisberger
WR- A.J Green
WR- Denarius Moore
RB- DeAngelo Williams
RB- Lamar Miller
TE- Jimmy Graham
Flex- Eddie Royal (WR)
Flex- Cecil Shorts III (WR)
K- Robbie Gould
DEF - St. Louis
Defensive End - Calais Campbell
BN- Matt Ryan (QB)
BN - Kembrell Thompkins (WR) Bye 
BN - Jared Cook (TE)
BN- Michael Floyd (WR)
BN - Brandon Pettigrew (TE)

El Cunado - Record (6-3), 1st place - This is the team I share with my wife, who possibly knows more about football than I do. I picked a good woman. Our original team name this year was "Cutler Milk" named for the episode of #TheLeague where Jenny and Kevin's son, Chalupa Batman drinks #KristinCavallari breast milk. We decided we wanted to mix it up and briefly considered #ChalupaBatman. Jenny and Kevin's kid has this ridiculous name because Kevin traded away his son's #NamingRights at the end of season 3. In the end we settled on #ElCunado, Ruxin's deranged sociopath, brother-in-law. Yea, we like The League. This team is good.

QB - Ben Roethlisberger
WR - DeSean Jackson
WR - Andre Johnson
RB- DeMarco Murray
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew
TE - Julius Thomas
Flex - Eddie Royal (WR)
K - Robbie Gould
DEF - San Francisco
BN - Jacquizz Rodgers (RB)
BN - Jared Cook (TE)
BN - Emmanuel Sanders (WR)
BN - Aaron Rodgers (QB)
BN - Roy Helu Jr. (RB)
BN - Dwayne Brown (WR) Bye 

And that, my friends, is how I have not one, but two fantasy football teams with winning records. At least for one more week. And in all honesty, fantasy football is just a way for me to watch games besides #DaBears and still care what's going on.

#ChicagoSports can be so frustrating both as a fan, and as a fan who wants to frequently write about them.

#DaBears #ChicagoBears are an enigma. The Bears started the season as who we thought they were. Then they weren't who we thought they were. Then they were again, who we thought they were. #JayCutler is hurt again, but at least #JoshMcCown has looked pretty good. During week nine only one analyst picked #TheBears to win. Who do you think it was? #DaCoach #Ditka! But the Bears played well enough to win, #DevinHester found the end zone again. Let's hope they can pull out another win against the #DetroitLions. I love beating #Detroit teams. Detroit is a terrible city.

#ChicagoBulls #DaBulls are off to a rocky start, but it's still early. #DerrickRose as back an already has a game winning floater under his belt, and always has the ability to take over a game. If he's back to true #MVP #DRose form we may have a pretty good year.

#ChicagoBlackhawks are off to a good start (10-2-4), and are definitely the most fun to watch, and talk about. I plan to wear out my #JonathanToews jersey this winter and hopefully we keep the #StanleyCup here in Chicago for the 3 time in 5 years. #SideNote - There's a strap that hangs off the back of hockey jerseys that the players clip to there hockey pants. That strap is extremely annoying when you're trying to pop a squat in the bathroom.

#ChicagoBaseball - What to say about the #ChicagoCubs or #ChicagoWhiteSox? They both had terrible seasons, and I fully expect them to repeat their dismal performances. So far this offseason the brightest piece of news for the #Cubs is signing Rick Renteria to manage for the next 3 seasons. Good news, I guess, for the Cubs. Bad news for Renteria, who should know that the Cubs are where managers go to die. Slightly more interesting news on the #SouthSide. The #GoGoSox snagged Cuban defector #JoseAbreu. He's a slugger, he's young, and the last couple of Cubans to join #MLB have turned out pretty good. The downside of the news is the contract. If you're going to gamble on a foreign player, I'd recommend you not do it on a 6-year, $68 million dollar deal. But what do I know? My fantasy baseball teams are losers.

So that's what's happening in sports. #BearDown and we'll talk Bears and #Thor on Sunday.

Monday, November 4, 2013

The Walking Dead and the Greatest Detective ever

#TheWalkingDead I love The Walking Dead. But I'm having major problems with this third season. S4 has almost become unwatchable because all of the characters are so unlikable. Rick is bat-shit crazy. Carl is bat-shit crazy. Carol is bat-shit crazy.Maggie and Glenn are bat-shit crazy. The only likable characters are Michonne and Daryl.

Far more important, is a question that occurred to me watching this most current episode. How does it end? I googled it, with no results. I can only foresee two possible ending. A cure is found and everyone lives #HappilyEverAfter. Or #EveryoneDies. Everyone dies is far more likely.At this point I say kill everyone except for #LaurenCohan.

I made the mistake of asking my friend who the greatest detective was, of all time. I said #SherlockHolmes, and he immediately countered with #Batman. It's a super tough argument, either way. I never thought of Sherlock as a fighter but #Elementary proved me wrong. "I fight without mercy. It's a lesson you may want to learn, unless we are going to limit ourselves to cases involving small children or large house cats." I heart #JonnyLeeMiller.

I have a hard time thinking of Batman as a detective.You may not know, but #DC stands for #DetectiveComics. #BruceWayne is definitely the smartest of all heroes, but I always think of him as an ass-kicker more than an investigator. He proves it to me when he solves crimes as Bruce Wayne as he did many times in the comics. You can borrow one if you need source material.

I stand by my opinion that #Sherlock is the best detective of all time, fictional or real. Batman and #Superman are my favorite heroes, but I'd much rather Sherlock Holmes investigated my untimely demise.

Thanks, Steve.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Ender's Game #SpoilersSweetie

Looks like I was wrong about a couple of things today #rarities. The wife got out of work early today, so we made it to a matinee of #EndersGame. As a result, my review of the movie will happen now, Friday evening, instead of trying to squeeze it in before football tomorrow. Also, #Thor will not be our last #datenight before the baby arrives. When I mentioned to Kate that I figured it would be, she very politely suggested I see it with my brother, my father, my nephews, or just about anyone else that is NOT her. Looks like our last date will be #CatchingFire. I should have known. Her phone's message tone is that bird whistle from #TheHungerGames. It gets very confusing when we watch the movie, or see a commercial. So there's that. I was not wrong, however, on my expectations of Ender's Game.

I'll be the first to admit, I throw the word 'best' around all the time. "That was the best steak I've ever had." "That was one of the best finishes to a game I've ever seen." "My wife is the best wife ever, and my little puppy girl is the best dog ever." For the sake of this blog entry, forget about my sometimes abuse of the word "BEST".

Ender's Game is one of the best science fiction novels of all time. Really, it is. Don't take my word for it, either. Google a list, or ask a very nerdy (probably very cool) friend, or something. #OrsonScottCard is regarded as one of the best sci-fi novelists of all time with the #EnderSeries being his crown achievement. Having said that, Ender's Game is also the best movie I have seen in 2013. Hands down, the best.

To start with just the basics, it was an excellent film. Forget about genre, adaptations, and #SciFi in general, it was a great piece of filmmaking. I'm looking forward to whatever #GavinHood does in the future. Visually, it was awesome. We didn't see it in 3D, we don't really like it. It makes pregnant women dizzy, and it gives me a headache if I don't get to take a break. But when you see it, see it in 3D. At one point, I turned to Kate, and said, "This scene would be fantastic 3D." Even she couldn't disagree.

The acting was amazing. #AsaButterfield was #Ender. I don't mean he played Ender, I mean he totally embraced the character perfectly, and became Ender. He always looked like he was about to cry, or kill you, and that's absolutely perfect. #HarrisonFord was equally great as Colonel Graff. The character is military-minded to a fault, with a dose of anger that feels just a bit unhealthy. I can count on one hand other actors that could have pulled it off as well. #BenKingsley as the mysterious Mazer Rackham was another perfect casting. I mean, you can't really go wrong with Sir Ben. He was Ghandi, for pete's sake. And how about little #AbigailBreslin? A lot of people won't recognize her since she's 17 years old now. Think back to when she was 10 and nominated for an #Oscar, #LittleMissSunshine. She'll have 5 of them before she hits 30.

My biggest worries about the movie, were the typical worries when adapting a novel into film. "It's too short, and they cut out too many important characters and subplots." "They changed the plot to placate the 'Hollywood audience'." "That character is nothing how I imagined him/her." "Since I can't read characters' thoughts the story makes no sense."

For the most part, those weren't issues with this adaptation. With a few minor exceptions, the screenplay perfectly followed the plot of the book. Dismiss from your mind immediately, the idea of encompassing everything you read in a book, being on the screen. Unless they re-introduce 5 hour movies with intermissions, it's never gonna happen. (By the way, I'm totally down for that if they serve dinner and drinks during intermission. I'll pay a hundred bucks for a full night of recreation for me and my lady.) In the book it felt like weeks and months passed in Battle School, playing the Game, and at Command School. The movie made it feel like everything happened in possibly a month. Another important change was in the character of Major Gwen Anderson played by #ViolaDavis. For the movie they combined at least two, possibly three characters into one, and they made her a female. Making her a female detracted nothing from the story. If anything, it added to the story, as there weren't many strong, adult, female characters in the the book. The big change was that the character was never actually at Battle School. She/He corresponded with #Graff solely by email. How the hell would you translate a bunch of emails into something viewable, that would keep an audience interested? The answer is, you can't. That kind of thing, has to be contracted, and adapted for the screen. And they did a good job of it.

There can be a legitimate complaint about some of other character development in this adaptation. Part of that can be explained by the fact that Card has written 13 novels about the characters, with at least two forthcoming, and numerous short stories. That's a lot to hash out in 114 minutes. For the sake of this not being an eleven page blog entry, I'll break down each character as briefly as possible.

Bernard - In the movie, he was a dickhead that eventually came around to Ender's side. I barely remember him in the book. He was a minor character who was on #Bonzo side, and then quickly forgotten.

#BonzoMadrid - In the movie, he was a villain. Ender handled him, and felt very bad. In the book he was a psychopath hellbent on killing Ender, and EVERYONE knew it, Ender included. Ender killed him, dead. Then he felt very bad.

Graff - In the movie all Graff cared about was developing the next commander of the International Fleet, at all costs. It's also true in the book, but you get more of a feeling that he's torn up about what he's doing to Ender.

Mazer Rackham - I never fully understood him in the movie, or the book. The only difference in the book, is that after the Second Formican War, he was sent away in a spaceship at faster than light speed, so that he wouldn't age while the Fleet looked for a new commander to train.

Petra - Petra was Ender's best friend at Battle School, as seen in the movies. There was even the suggestion of possible romance, which made me want to vomit. In the books Ender really only had one person he cared about; his sister. Petra was, however, his closest confidante. Petra Arkanian got a whole book written about her.

Bean - According to the film, Bean was a good, trustworthy, soldier and friend. In the books, Bean didn't really care for Ender at all. Bean was a brilliant tactician, and a possible military commander. Ender picked on him and rode him harder than anyone else in his platoon. The explanation was that Ender knew Bean could be a leader, and needed to be isolated from everyone else. Just as Graff isolated Ender from the other launchies, Ender isolated Bean. Bean didn't get it initially. Julian Delphiki, aka Bean, also got a book to himself.

Valentine Wiggin - Val was Ender's voice of empathy and reason, keeping him from turning to the dark side. The only thing you could have missed from the movie, was that Val also attended Battle School. She was a damn genius. After Ender won the war, she ended up a major part in shaping humankind's development.

Peter Wiggin - With only a minute or two of screen time, Gavin Hood did one hell of a job showing how much of Peter shaped Ender's persona. Peter was the antithesis of Valentine. He completely lacked empathy, but promoted all of Ender's drive towards self-preservation, mercilessness, and even brutality. Those feelings made Ender the great military commander he was, and eventually made Peter the foremost leader in human history. He, with Valentine share a sequel about what happens next.

Ender - Ender has the most discrepancies between the movie and books, which makes sense. He's the protagonist and you can't read all of his thoughts and emotions onscreen. Remember Stilson? That bully that Ender beat up at the beginning of the movie? In the book Ender didn't know it, but he killed him. "...just remember what happens when people try to hurt me." That's what got him into Battle School. Or how about Bonzo? When I said everyone knew Bonzo wanted to kill him, I meant EVERYONE. The administrators argued about letting them ever be alone together. Ender's 'Jeesh' (Dragon Army crew) assigned guards to stick by him at all times. When Bonzo finally got him alone, Ender killed him too. That got him his final test. They woke him at 3am, to fight two armies instead of the usual one, and his opponents got extra time to place their armies. And he won, anyway. Keep in mind, that in the book, Ender's Dragon Army hadn't lost any of their 13 battles, despite constantly being given a decisive disadvantage at every stage. That's why he was the highest ranked out of anyone in the school. And so what did they do? They took away his lieutenants. Petra, Bean, and Dink were all promoted and given there own armies. That's when Ender had enough and quit. "If you're just going to keep changing the rules after I win, I'm done playing." Ender was a #BMF

That's a whole lot to change for the main character, but it worked for me. The characters stayed real, and their behaviors maintained fluidity. Some might not like it, but my wife is an English teacher, loves the book, and loved the movie. That's good enough for me.

I only have two minor complaints. One, there was a scene where Harrison Ford had a piece of food on his lower lip. Seriously? Who the hell missed that one? Fire him now. My second complaint is the previews that showed before the movie.

I, Frankenstein - Frankenstein was the name of the doctor that made the monster, not the name of the monster. Also, the movie looks ridiculous.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - Cool trailer, but I've already seen it a bunch of times. I like the previews to surprise me.

#TheBookThief - Ok this one looks great, and will probably be up for #BestPicture

Pompeii - I already know how this one ends. The volcano wins.

I would love for Ender's Game to be the start of a new franchise. I don't know if it's possible. The books and stories that follow will be even more difficult to adapt into movies. Their only option, in my opinion, is to make #EndersShadow and stop. If they only tell Bean's story, they can take as much artistic license as they want, and the rest of the stories be damned. Especially, since Card is still writing. But if this is the only one we get, I'll take it and be happy. The did a helluva job.

(P.S Anyone want to see Thor with me next weekend?)



#TotalRecall - Politics - Letter the the Mayor

With the #WorldSeries, #Halloween, and #reruns, and #ByeWeeks dominating the news and #primetime television, there hasn't been much to blog about over the last week or so. I suppose I could talk more about the #RedSox, or #ObamacareFail, but who really wants to start the weekend reading or writing about something that'll just annoy them? Not me, and probably not you. So I thought I'd take it in a different direction.

My original intent was to start this blog over a year ago. I even saved the first few entries as a word file. Obviously, that didn't happen, but it's still interesting to go back and see what was going through my mind during the summer of 2012. Below is a letter I wrote to #MayorRahmEmanuel of Chicago about his poor management of #ChicagoPublicLibraries , #CPL. I also sent copies of the letter to the #ChicagoTribune, #TheChicagoSunTimes, and a couple of other local newspapers.

Dear Mayor Emanuel,

I love my Chicago Public Libraries. Usually it is very efficient and convenient, but it hasn't been lately.

Today I went on CPL's website to check the status of some books I had on hold. The website wasn't working so I went to my local branch, Lozano at 18th St. and Loomis. The book I wanted wasn't there. The poor librarian at the front desk couldn't help me at all because the system was down, and wouldn't be back up until Monday. I did end up checking out a few books, but I'm not even sure that they are properly checked out. The librarian was putting anything she could into Microsoft Word so that they could properly input the information later.

Along with the reduced hours that the libraries are now available, I find this unacceptable.

When the internet shuts down at my house, I call my provider and they fix it within twelve hours. I don't understand why this can't be resolved before Monday. If this was a planned shutdown we should have been notified. I'm on the CPL's website several times a week, and I did not see any such notification.

Libraries are a vital part of education, and a method of making each of our communities stronger. Making them less available weakens our communities, our city, our country, and our world.

Thank you for hearing me, a proud citizen from the south side of Chicago.

Sincerely, Jason J. Smith

The next one is a review of the #TotalRecall remake starring #ColinFarrell #KateBeckinsale and #JessicaBiel. It came out August 3rd, 2012, and I saw it opening day.

            Phillip K. Dick, Arnold, and Sharon Stone. Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, and Jessica Biel. Awesomeness. Explosions, car chases, amazing action sequences, hot men, and hotter women. When I shell out ten bucks for a summer blockbuster that’s all I want to see.
            Total Recall (2012) had all of that. Colin Farrell must have jumped out of five or six exploding buildings. The cars in the chases were all flying, sometimes upside-down. Colin and Kate’s fight scenes were spectacular, making me wonder why I haven’t seen all of the ‘Underworld’ movies. And who is hotter than Jessica Biel?
            If that’s all you’re looking for, you’re in luck. Your ten bucks was well worth it. But if you were looking for a truly great ‘flick’ when your ticket stub was torn, you probably are asking the same questions as I.
            How in the first forty minutes did they so completely run out of dialogue that the only memorable quotes were “Oh, shit.” I thought it might have been a catch-phrase at first, but after an hour it didn’t stop.
            If you’re going to stick to Dick’s story, and remake an already pretty good movie, what happened to Mars? That was a pretty big part of both the short, and the first version, and it barely had any relevance.
            That’s all you could do with John Cho? Seriously? As if no one saw Harold & Kumar. More importantly, he’s Sulu, for chrissake! Thirty seconds of blonde hair and a tiny little voice over at the end is not enough. If you wanted him in the movie, you should have had him in the movie. Otherwise, you’re spending money on cast that you could have spent on another writer who could come up with a little more than, “Oh, Shit”
            How come we got to see Colin Farrel with no shirt, (not that he isn’t a very hot man), and never really got to appreciate the ladies? Sure, we got Beckinsale in her panties for about five seconds at the beginning. But that was it. No love for Biel?
            And the most important question of all. Did this movie really need to be made at all?
Props to Bokeem Woodbine. His character was probably the coolest in the movie. John Cho is amazing but was completely unutilized as an actor. Whoever came up with the idea (*spoiler alert*) to put a tear on Jessica’s face instead of a bead of sweat on Bokeem’s forehead deserves a bowl of sherbet from my fridge (I don’t like to share.)

            The answer is no. Colin Farrell, while cool, is probably still less cool than Arnold. Beckinsale, and Biel, though really hot, are probably not as hot as Sharon Stone in her prime. And, ultimately, if you’re not really going to change the story, and you’re not going to add anything significant to the storytelling, you’re not really doing anything. So, my advice is wait until you can see it for cheap, or just rewatch the original. If you just enjoy the movies and a fun summer blockbuster, go for it. I do, and I still don’t regret it.

The last piece of throwback bloggery is a rant I made about some truly things #republicans were saying at the end of August, 2012. You'll probably remember the comments from #ToddAkin, former U.S Representative from Missouri, and #StaceyCampfield, Tennessee state senator. They were just too absurd to forget.

I am a 31 year old, African-American living on the south side of Chicago.  I was a member of the Michigan Black Republicans. My father is a Baptist minister living in Fort Wayne, IN. I am very proud of my ethnicity, my heritage, and my upbringing.

But some of you politically conservative and religious-right politicians have lost your minds.

Thank you, Todd Akin for telling us that female body can reject pregnancy in the case of rape. Thank you, Stacey Campfield for letting us know that AIDS can only be transmitted via homosexual interaction.

I won’t lie, I got my first D in freshman health class. But I’m pretty sure both of those topics were covered, and my teacher never said anything like that. A woman can become pregnant regardless of the circumstance of intercourse. AIDS, as a sexually transmitted disease, may be transmitted through any bodily fluid regardless of the sex of the participants. Maybe I’m not as smart as I suppose, but these are both pretty basic lessons in biology.

What were you thinking when you said that? Who on your staff let that one slip by, and when are they going to be fired?

I agree with the politically conservative, religious right wing on most cases. But right now, you’re just making me look bad.

Go ahead and make a stance. Defend my religious political views. But please don’t make me an asshole. I want you to represent me, not the other way around.

So that's how my first blog posts would have looked if I had started back in June of 2012, like I planned. Oh well. #LifeHappens. At least I finally got it going this year, even if my writing still isn't always up to the standard I usually set for myself.

Check me out tomorrow, as I review #EndersGame. I love the book, my wife loves the book, and tonight may very well be our second to last #DateNight before the baby comes and ruins all of our fun.Our last date night will probably be next week when we go see #ThorTheDarkWorld.

#JJsEntertainment
#JayJaysEntertainment




Saturday, October 26, 2013

#WorldSeries

I usually refrain from posting my thoughts right after I watch something, but I can't help it this time. The finish of game three of the #WorldSeries will be all over twitter and #ESPN and #FB in about 3 minutes. I might as well get my thoughts out while people are looking for them.

I think it was the right call. No umpire, ref, or any other official from any sport wants to be the deciding factor in an important game. If a "booth review" was an option, I'm sure the umps would have called for it. Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your baseball allegiance), they didn't have that option.

Strictly speaking good baseball, the #StLouisCardinals probably shouldn't have sent #Molina from second. He's not the fleetest of foot. He was out by about the length of my living room. I could have thrown him out, and my arm is partially made of spaghetti.  #Saltalamacchia tried to catch #AllenCraig for the double play, and extra innings, but the ball got past #Middlebrooks. On the throw, Craig and Middlebrooks collided and the ball wandered into left field. Craig stumbled over Middlebrooks, ran toward home, and got the warmest welcome you could ever receive as a base-runner. "Safe. You don't have to continue, you're safe no matter what."

Obstruction was called. As a result the runner is awarded the base regardless of any action following the obstruction call. A baseball purist would bitch, "It was a clean play on both sides, let them play it out and call the play as it happen(s)(ed)." I am not a purist. I still like the designated hitter. And, I like to follow the letter of the law.Without stumbling over Middlebrooks, Craig definitely would have scored the game winning run. It's not Middlebrooks fault, and it's not Saltalamacchia's fault. It's just one of those things that happens in sports where as a fan you just look at it and say, "Shit." Bad things happen to people everyday. Hopefully that's the worst thing that happens in your day, or your week, or your year, or life. I wonder what I'd say if it happened to my #WhiteSox. #HawkHarrelson would probably kill someone.

But, if you stick to the rules, as I prefer to, it was the right call. If he hadn't stumbled, Craig would have scored. The #Cards would be up a game, just the same as they are now. The only difference now is that #RedSoxNation wouldn't have a reason to call foul. Personally, I'm not sure if I want them to have a reason or not. If the Cardinals win the series, #RedSox fans will find an excuse to invalidate it.

Let'em bitch. Go Cards!

Friday, October 25, 2013

Recipe - Arroz con Pollo (Poached)

I'd like to preface this "recipe" by pointing out two things. Firstly, it's not really a recipe. It's late, on a Friday night and I'm hungry. I looked around the house to see what I had available to cook, and this is what I did with the ingredients I had to work with. Never watch #MasterChef when you're hungry. Secondly, I usually cook with mostly fresh ingredients. Again, I worked with what I had, and so I had to cheat in some places. I've never made #ArrozConPollo poached, but it sounds really good in my head, and I'm rarely wrong when I experiment with new ideas. This is super easy, and, if your kitchen is clean, super quick. My kitchen was not so it took a bit longer.

In a medium saucepan bring 4 cups of water to simmer. Add half of a chopped onion, and to your taste preferences, some green and red peppers, some salt and some pepper. If I had fresh garlic, I'd add that too. Since I did not I used dry minced garlic. Also add 1 large chicken breast, cut into slightly larger than bite sized pieces. You're going to add all of this to your rice, so you need only cook the chicken and vegetables to about 65% done.

As soon put your chicken and vegetables into the simmer you need to start your rice. For two people, I'm cooking one cup of rice, with two cups of water, in a pot that can accommodate everything. Remember you're going to add your chicken and veggies to your rice, so make sure the pot is big enough. Stir everything regularly.

When your rice is about halfway done, you're going to need to add your #PuertoRican cooking base. I use to types of #Goya brand, typically. #Sofrito is tomato base, and #Recaito is a cilantro base. You can find Goya at any grocery store. Add them in whatever ratio you like best, but 2:1 Sofrito:Recaito is the best. My wife hates cilantro, so I usually go with three or even four to 1.

At about this time your chicken and veggies should be ready to add. Your going to get most of your flavoring now. Add all of the veggies, all of the chicken, and some of the water to the rice. You'll have to use your judgement on how much water. Remember, the water has some flavor already in it, and you'll need some to help completely cook your meal. If you use too much, you could drown the meal, and kill a lot of the flavor.

As soon as all of the food is in one pot, cover it and put it on the lowest flame possible. The lower flame will let all of the flavor soak into the chicken and rice, and keep the water from boiling. If the water boils, everything will dry out and you'll end up scraping burnt rice out of the bottom of your pot. So make sure you stir as often as possible, and keep adding water as necessary.

When everything is done, your rice should be clumpy and moist, not soupy. Your chicken should juicy and flavorful, not dry. Your veggies, especially fresh onions and garlic, should be about to melt.There should be almost no water left in the pot. It's a really delicate balance, so pay extra close attention during the final stages of preparation.

Additional Tips: If at any point you think it's getting too soupy, uncover the pot. The excess moisture will leave the pot as steam and get it to a better consistency. Conversely, if at any point it seems too dry, or some of your chicken and veggie simmer hits a straight boil, cover it immediately and turn down your flame. And never forget #Ramsey Rule 1: Taste everything, all the time. Even raw meat, if you're not sure about the seasoning. No one ever died from a pinhead-sized-bite of raw meat. If someone tells otherwise, they're lying.

Now, you're done. Go eat some Arroz con Pollo, like a good wannabe #PuertoRican.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

#RedSoxNation #BonesWedding #Arrow #TheDayofTheDoctor

First, I need to reiterate how difficult it's been for me to care about #MLBs 2013 playoffs. I love baseball. As early as I can remember, #baseball has been my favorite sport. Even when I lived in New York, and my #BuffaloBills perennially where in the Superbowl, and even when we moved to Chicago and had #MichaelJordan and the 90s #Bulls, baseball was the sport for me. My family moved to Chicago in 1988. Before that I was a Mets fan. I can't remember every single game I attended, but I do remember keeping track of the number of games I had attended. By seven years old, I had been to #YankeeStadium 13 times, and #SheaStadium only 3 times. When we got to Chicago, it made sense (at least to me) that I would stay a Mets fan, and start rooting for Chicago's American League team, the #WhiteSox. It also helped that the Cubs always stink. So, believe me when I say that I love baseball, and always look forward to the playoffs and #TheWorldSeries. On a side note, I've even been playing #fantasybaseball with the same group of friends for 15 years. But this year, I'm struggling.

I don't really care about the #StLouisCardinals. I don't hate them, I don't particularly like them, but I do like that Cubs' fans hate them. So I could tolerate watching them, possibly even rooting for them, in the World Series. But not the Red Sox. And even more than I dislike the Red Sox, I despise #RedSoxNation.

The first reason is #Fenway Park. Sure it's a storied, classic ballpark. One of the oldest, in fact. What you don't know is that it's kind of a dump. Much like another old park on the north side of Chicago, it isn't very clean, and it has a weird smell. If that was its only problem, I could deal. Fenway also is damn near impossible to get to. The expressways in #Boston are so poorly designed and screwed up, that you can be on the expressway, looking at the park less than a mile away, and it will still take you over an hour to get to the ticket gates. It's the poorest expressway design in the country. Also the #GreenMonster is stupid. I guess it looks kind of cool on tv, but when you're there, sitting in right field, you have absolutely no idea what is happening in center field or left field. The sight lines are absolutely a joke. I'd rather sit behind a beam at Wrigley.

The last reason is the real ass-kicker. #RedSoxNation is one of the most obnoxious group of organized sports fans in the history of professional sports. To illustrate this point, I offer a short story.

A few years back, a group of friends and I planned a road trip to follow the White Sox to Fenway and see them play the Red Sox. We stopped in Cleveland to see 'our' Sox play #TheIndians at #JacobsField, then raced up to Boston to round out our trip. We got to our seats, decked out in White Sox gear, just in time for batting practice. This part was actually pretty cool. Being 5 of probably only 30 White Sox fans in the whole park, 'our' Sox were able to identify our cheering, and identify with us. #JerryManuel, the coach, even signed a ball and tossed it up into our right field bleacher seats. That was the end of the coolness. Throughout the game we respectfully cheered for our guys, and tried to enjoy the game. It was tough to do so, though, when Red Sox Nation took offense to our very existence and presence in their precious Fenway. They taunted us, took their sweet time bringing beer to our section, and all around gave us a hard time. One of our group actually took a hot dog in the back of his head. I'd heard Yankee fans complain about it, but I didn't actually believe someone would spend 7 bucks on a hot dog or 9 on a beer, to throw at a rival fan. I guess the economy was in better shape then. Ignorant.

And so that is why watching the World Series at Fenway makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I don't even root against them. I root for a meteor to strike, destroying everything, and killing everyone in a nice Fenway sized crater. Go #MeteorStrike

That's enough of the bitter Jason. Happy Jason has had a pretty good television week. Here's a quick rundown of the coolest moments.

#Bones - This week was the #BoothBonesWedding. It was a really fun, and dare I say "cute" episode. Of course, it wouldn't be an episode of Bones if everything went smoothly. Of course there's a murder to be solved. To keep Bones from getting carried away studying the bones, Cam calls in almost all of the #squinterns. This was the coolest part and the most annoying at the same time. Dr. Fisher is my favorite of all the #squints, Dr. Wells is an annoying prick, but still kind of funny, and Dr. Vaziri was the only squint officially invited to the wedding, though the other squints were quick to point out that he was really just Cam's +1. Could someone please explain to me why Daisy hasn't been killed yet? Another hurdle for them to get over is the fact that Booth lit a candle at the church for Temperance's mother and manages to burn the whole church down. Only Booth... The culmination of the episode was definitely the vows. Booth decided at the last minute to toss his vows out the window and just speak from the heart. Touching. When it's Bones' turn the bartender/minister asks her if she's going to speak from the heart. "No, I'm going to speak from my mouth." Classic Bones, in a classic episode.

#Arrow rocked my world. You need to check this mess out. The Arrow gets out of the precinct, surrounded by SWAT team members with the help of the black leather clad, blonde woman (The Black Canary).#RoyHarper aka #Speedy is now working intelligence for the Arrow. He gets abducted and released by #TheBlackCanary whom I now know is #SaraLance (thanks #IMDB) I guess she's not so dead. Her father, demoted to beat cop, #OfficerLance is helping the Arrow to find a killer. Lance also knows that Felicity is in regular contact with the Arrow. Officer Lance's daughter, and Sara's sister, is leading the charge to catch the vigilante. That is at least until the Arrow saves them both, again. It's like a soap opera, except for with more violence, and superheroes. The most mind blowing part of the episode is at the very end when you find out where Sara/Canary's been, and who's she's been with. #RasAlGhul !!! Nice #DC comics crossover! Apparently, she was with #TheLeagueOfShadows for the past 6 years. You may recognize those names from the newest #Batman franchise as the primary bad guys. I can't wait to see what they do next. But one thing started to annoy me. Officer Lance knows about Felicity. #Diggle was on the stakeout, so Lance presumably knows about him too. How long is going to take for him to connect the dots from The Arrow to Oliver, being that two high ranking Queen employees are close personal friends with the vigilante?

Last topic for the day is the upcoming #DrWho special, The Day of the Doctor, starring #DavidTennant #BilliePiper #MattSmith and #JennaLouiseColeman. Apparently, we earth-bound #Whovians, aren't the only people excited about this. Writers from other shows are slipping references in, as well. On #Castle Esposito makes a reference, that all but stops Castle in his tracks. "You watch Dr. Who?" On The Big Bang Theory #TBBT, Howard writes a goofy little song to commemorate his and Bernadette's first date. Like him without Bernie, Howard mentions several different things that don't make sense without their counterpart, for instance, "Like Dr. Who without the #TARDIS". #TheDayofTheDoctor airs worldwide on November 23rd both on television, and in select theatres 3D. Anyone in the Chicagoland area is welcome to see it with me. I'll be at either Century Cinemas in Evanston, or Cinemark at Seven Bridges in Woodridge. It will also be screened nationwide in most/many theatres on November 25th. Check #FathomEvents for listings and showtimes. http://www.fathomevents.com/?utm_source=DoctorWhoPR&utm_medium=PR&utm_campaign=DoctorWho#!doctor-who-the-day-of-the-doctor/more-info/theater-locations

"The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous.And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles." The Eleventh Doctor

Sunday, October 20, 2013

The Chicago Bears

So I'm sitting in church, waiting to get the hell out of there. I fought tooth and nail, to just stay in bed this morning. I even told Kate last night, that we should skip church, because the storms were going to be so awful. She didn't buy it, and I don't blame her. After Mass, we had an RCIA class, but all I was thinking about was going home to watch football.

I checked the score while in class, it was 10-10. Before we had left the room it was 10-17. Before we were all the way home and settled, it was tied again after a #DevinHester return. After that the score ballooned. The second highest scoring game of the season. That'd be very impressive, if it didn't mean that the defense crapped their pants. 

Honestly, we really shouldn't complain. The Bears have been winning ugly all year. Losing reminds mediocre teams that they can't get by on luck. The Bears needed that kick in the tush. Playing like crap and winning deludes teams into thinking they aren't crap, and they have nothing to work on. So what do the Bears have to work on? Everything. For once, the Bears have no glaring holes to focus on, they just need to shore up what they already have in place. Tackle, run, catch, and never get caught sleeping. If they do that, they're in first place, and the #DetroitLions look like a neighborhood flag football team. Oh, and they need to stay healthy.

Remember the Bears third quarterback? That's because they don't have one. Sorry, but I kind of wanted #JoshMcCown to get hurt just so that I could see who the Bears would throw into the mix at QB. How funny would it have been to see #Hester taking snaps? He made a nice toss across the field during one of the final plays of the game, but I never want to see that again. #AdamPodlesh? #RobbieGould? Gross.

Could anyone else have gotten injured? Seriously? #Cutler- out. #Briggs- out. #Tillman- out. Thank God, we have the bye next week. Today was a hot sloppy, ugly, mess.#Gould even missed a field goal. I thought hell might freeze over. No more ugly football, Bears. Let's buckle down and start kicking ass like every fan knows you can.

#Scandal

Geez. Someone told me that #Revenge was just a crappy, primetime soap opera. Could it be more dramatic than this third season of #Scandal? President Grant's affair is now public knowledge. The First Lady leaked Olivia's name. Cy and Olivia's father have Jake Ballard 'missing'. Huck wants to murder Olivia's father. It's enough to give a person an aneurysm, or at the very least, a headache.

Watching the newest episode, all I could think about was that I'm glad I didn't join the military. I almost joined the Navy. You can see pictures of me with my recruiter if you care to check my senior year yearbook. I'm sure I would have either ended up a Seal, or in the intelligence community. Both would have gotten me killed.

I really enjoy watching Quinn come into her own. #KatieLowes has played it perfectly, turning into Huck. And Huck doesn't like it one bit. More than once, Huck tells her not to be like him. But she can't help it. She figured out that Huck and Olivia met before any of them became #Gladiators. And then she became the resident hacker, while Huck was 'taking a sick day'. "We get sick days??!! What's next holiday pay?" The funniest part to me, was when Quinn had to hack into the FBI database. "I'm not Huck!" I was actually surprised when she sat at Huck's station, that there wasn't a shortcut on his desktop labeled "Hack The FBI".

If you were to make a list of the most trite, overused, cliches in American film, where would you start?

"Don't you die on me!"
"We'll get through this."
"I'll never let you go."

Thank you, Scandal for adding more to the recipe. "All that got me through it was picturing your face. You saved me."

Bullshit, if I ever heard it. Jake is playing Olivia, she knows it, and she still can't help herself. I can't wait for her to figure it out, and put everyone in their places. Her father included. Also, Mellie is a monstrous bitch, David Rosen was a #BMF to Cy #JoshuaMalina, #GuillermoDiaz is an amazing actor, and Huck is one of my favorite characters from any show, ever.

#Arrow

Very quickly, #Arrow is becoming one of my favorite shows. The first season was awesome, and the sophomore season is shaping out to be even better.

Usually, I find constant flashbacks annoying. #Lost was incessant about them. But, in Arrow, I don't mind them at all. I actually enjoy them. Seeing how Oliver developed his skills, and how being stuck on the island shaped his personality really makes sense. His first kill was on the island, and the inner conflict that resulted definitely shows in his character, current day.

They have also done a hell of a job with famous characters from the comics. Slade, Shado, Speedy, #BlackCanary, and #ChinaWhite have all gotten perfect introductions. I don't know if the show will stick with comic names, but I hope they try. #Speedy is a pretty ridiculous alter ego.

Speaking of alter egos, Felicity's refusal to be Ollie's executive assistant was absolutely hilarious. "My secret identity is not going to be 'Your Girl Friday'. Diggle's response is the best line of the season. "It could be worse. My secret identity is his black driver." Also, my favorite part of every episode is Felicity's Freudian slips. Always sexual, I think she really just wants to climb into Ollie's bed. I hope she does. I like her better than Laurel.

Just in case #KatieCassidy and #EmilyBettRickards and #WillaHolland weren't enough hotness on the show, season two adds, #SummerGlau. I want to rant and rave about how much I love her, but every time I'm about to, I imagine Howard from #TheBigBangTheory meeting Glau on the train. I can handle being a creep, but I never want to be #creepy.

I really don't know where the show is going next. I can't imagine any scenario where Oliver gets out of his current situation. Surrounded, inside a police precinct, with a dozen rifles scoped on him, #JossWhedon is going to have to pull a rabbit out of his ass this time.

Lastly, a question to ponder. I've always been a #DC guy so the answer is simple, and immediate for me. Which is a better show, #Arrow or #AgentsOfShield? #Marvel

Friday, October 18, 2013

"T"s Reminder

Thank you, "T" for reminding me that I wanted to blog about more than just television when I started blogging. Besides television, I planned on writing about movies, politics, music, sports, and every other day-to-day interaction that caught my attention. Looking back on all of those topics, I remember why I've waited.

#Change happens too slowly, or too quickly. Both paces are annoying.

Music - I stopped listening to the radio around 2010. I didn't make a conscious decision to do so. I just started listening more and more to sports talk radio. Every day there was some obnoxious song on, from an artist I'd never heard of. After about 40 seconds of that, I'd put on a CD, or switch to AM radio to hear the news (not that it was any better), or sports news. A friend recently asked what was my favorite band. My age is showing, but I had to say #FooFighters . Laugh if you must. I'd rather listen to an "oldie" than new crap.

Politics - "The #Republicans and the #TeaParty are holding up the entire government, and our country's advancement!" "The #Democrats put us in a situation where we have to dig in our heels so that we can at least get a foothold in an environment where we're heard."

#AlexTrebeck "These are the people who benefit from a government shutdown in the United States of America."

#TheUnitedStatesofAmerica "Who is no one in America and every other nation on the planet Earth?"

Correct! For zero dollars and our Nation's security.

Get over it, people. Big business doesn't care. The government doesn't care. #Occupy whatever doesn't care. Care about you, and yours, and then run for a position in my district. You have my vote.

Day-to-Day - Finally, we have #recycling in our neighborhood. Go green. I expect the city will stay on top of it. And I know they'll be back to take away bins left in front of empty homes.

Day-to-Day - I'm going to take a hammer with me tomorrow when I walk my dog, and smack any owner who doesn't clean up his dogs poop.

Day-to-Day - I love how easy it is to use #ChicagoPublicLibrary online. http://www.chipublib.org/ 

Movies - I haven't seen a movie in the theaters since probably "Star Trek Into Darkness". That makes me sad. I used to go see a movie just for the hell of it, by myself, in the middle of the day. Being a grownup can suck sometimes. Before Baby-Smith is born, the wife and I will definitely be seeing #EndersGame together. I'll try and squeeze a few bootlegs in to review as soon as possible. I keep trying to watch #TheWolverine but I heard it was crappy, and keep finding something better to do instead.

#NFL #ChicagoBears #MLB #NHL #ChicagoBlackHawks #BlackHawks #FantasyFootball #Wolverines #UofM

The Bears are 4-2 and they easily could be 2-4. I hate to watch sloppy wins, but I'm used to it, I'm from Chicago. The offense shows up when they feel like it, the offensive line, even more inconsistently. Last week #JayCutler looked pretty good. I think he'll look even better against the #WashingtonRedskins . I predict an easy win for the #Bears , 37-10.

#TheWolverines have also been fortunate. I will be wearing my jersey against the #Hoosiers, and I think they'll win. But they should only be 3-4 at this point. It took four overtimes to lose to #PennState? Vomit. Just lose so we can all watch something else.

I hate the #StLouisBlues #GoBlackHawks

My Papi (grandfather) might jump on a plane to just kick my butt and disown me from my family for liking the #Dodgers of all the teams in the Championship Series in both divisions. 

I hate the #RedSox and #RedsoxNation. They are a dislikable people from a dislikable city. Ever been to #Boston? It sucks. You can't go anywhere quickly, and it might even be worse than #Wrigleyville. I recall being on the expressway within 1 mile of the stadium, and you could see it. From there it took over an hour to actually get near the stadium.

#Detroit is one of the worst cities in America. I've been to both #TigerStadium and #ComericaPark. Approaching Tiger Stadium we saw a warehouse fire across the street. No one else seemed to notice a building, on fire, across the street from a #MLB team. I guess it went out on it's own? Comerica Park seemed liked #ZombieLand because no one was there. I kept looking for #EmmaStone but she didn't show.

#StLouis teams are obnoxious, but I really couldn't figure out how to explain it in my own words. I root for them when they play the #Cubs, but that really isn't an argument. All of the city's teams act, and feel as though they should be America's team, America's underdog. But honestly, St. Louis, no one cares. Your fans are obnoxious just because they are obnoxious people. We root against you because we don't like your city, or you people. And seriously, when was the last time you met someone that grew up in St. Louis? Answer: Never. It's always someone from some more reputable city, that chose to be a #STL fan, that even their friends can't stand to be around them.

I've been to #DodgerStadium. Maybe they recognize tourists, but they were the most ignorantly trustworthy fans I've ever met. We needed four tickets, but had no cash. The scalper GAVE us the tickets, and told us where the ATM was, so that he could meet us at a fence to pay him. Sure, he had a dozen more, so he could have just sat next to us and asked us what was up. But that's not how it happens in Chicago, Detroit, New York, #Cincy or any stadium I've been to. Damn. We should have just taken the tickets and wandered the stadium for the game. Um, #GoDodgers, I guess.

I've got more to give if you've got more to read. Thank you, to my one follower.


Thursday, October 17, 2013

#TheTomorrowPeople #Bones #AgentsOfShield #SVU

Well that's just fantastic. Looking back over my previous posts, I'm pretty sure there's a missing entry. I can't find it as a draft, saved, or anything. Expect a short post soon, where I just scan through my notes and mention whatever didn't make it onto an entry. Yes, I take notes while watching television. Probably more notes than I ever took in college.

But on to the good stuff.

Sgt. John #Munch of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit turned in his papers (retirement) last week. It was the very last scene of last week's episode, and I couldn't believe it. I said to myself, "How could Richard Belzer want to leave #L&O ? He's only been with the franchise for 27 years! Oh. 27 years. I guess that makes sense." Anyway the episode was extraordinarily plain, as a whole. After 14 seasons of #SVU, I really don't need to see a standard rapist/killer/kidnap episode. I've seen that 14x26 times. But the beginning was pretty cool, and the end was just classic. 

His retirement party is at a local cop bar, where all of his friends were gathered, including his old team from Baltimore PD. It was a planned roast, that came across very realistic. Realistic in that, none of the characters are comedians, just plain old cops. So while it was only marginally funny, it was very authentic.

The end was the best. Munch went back to the bullpen to collect the last of his things from his desk. While he was flipping through some old pictures, they cut away to a black and white scene of him sitting at his desk all the way back to his days in Homicide during the original L&O series. Very nostalgic. Interrupting his reverie, the phone rings he quickly answers the phone, "Homicide". He pauses for a second, apologizes and corrects himself, "SVU. Yes, hold on, and I'll grab you a detective." He stands up, shakes his head and walks out of the room. Fade to black. I really liked the exit, and I really like that they didn't kill his character off. As a side note Captain Cragen gave Benson paperwork so that she could take the Sergeants' exam. She won't be leaving the field, but she's always been his number two, and they might as well make it official. That's a lot of analysis for about three total minutes of screentime.

#AgentsOfShield

I feel like each episode is getting better than the previous. I think it might have something to do with no longer having to introduce the characters. You can see that the gang is getting used to each other's quirks, and the gags are a lot more believable. I wonder if Sky will ever be able to differentiate between a gun's safety and it's clip release.

A couple of observations on this episode. At the beginning 100 men in matching suits, wearing matching red masks, and briefcases, march into a square in Stockholm, Sweden. You know what the passerby's did? They pulled out cell phones to take pictures. Are you kidding me? It didn't occur to anyone that this could be a massive terrorist attack? You would have turned to me to suggest we leave, and then realized I was already halfway to Norway.

What the hell was done to #AgentCoulson to bring him back from the dead? Google it and you can get a myriad of opinions, at least 90% of them stupid. Cloning, magic, transferring his consciousness into a new body; the list goes on and on. I don't really care for any of the theories, but I have steadfast faith in #JossWhedon to do right by the franchise. But, it sounds really goofy to bring him back through the use of black magic.

#Bones

Finally that prick, Pelant, is dead. Really, really dead. I love that Booth didn't even let him finish his threats. Just put a bullet in his chest. That's how Booth rolls, and finally we can start thinking about the wedding. But before that we get a pretty entertaining episode about making 'bucket lists'.

Mostly, the story was pretty formulaic. Someone gets killed, investigation leads to a suspect, plot twist, murderer found. But in between that, were some classic moments from some of our favorite characters.

Angela- Angela gives a list to visiting #squint Dr. Wells, most entreating him to stop being 'douchy'.

Bones- Realizing he has no friends, Dr. Wells asks Bones out for coffee or dinner. After explaining why he wants to Bones promptly says. "I decline your offer. I don't like you." Clueless Wells responds, "I don't like you either. What's that got to do with anything.

Hodgins- Plays with hawk vomit for nearly the entire episode. 

Sweets- I'll say this was the funniest exchanges of the ninth season. The Smithsonian Institute is testing out a new virtual profiling system called VAL. Sweets is not impressed. "I hate VAL. She's stupid. I hate her!"

Last thing about Bones. Bucket list or not, punching #ChuckLiddell in the face is just plain stupid. You do realize, that his brain could just automatically switch into #UFC mode, and you could be dead, right? I have something on my Bucket List. Before I die, I want to see #Daisy die or promise never to come back to the show. Can we please make that happen?

#TheTomorrowPeople

Brand new show on the #CW directly following #Arrow, on Wednesday nights. Pretty entertaining show, though not all that original. Following Arrow is a great spot to be as it's sure to get some 'hangers' every week. Hell, sometimes I watch a show because the remote is on the other side of the room. (How long until voice activated television controls?)

The story follows Stephen Jameson, a high school student who suffers from schizophrenia, sleepwalking, and a host of other mental ailments. His father had the same problems but left him, his mother, and his brother when Stephen was very young. One day he's approached by a girl who explains that he needs to quit taking his medication, because it's holding back his abilities. Not only is he one of the Tomorrow People, he's the #ChosenOne. More powerful than any other, destined to save this new race of people, and so forth. All of the Tomorrow People have the '3 T's'. Telepathy, Telekinesis, and Teleportation. But it's important that Stephen get with the rest of his people quickly because he's not safe. An organization called 'Ultra' is hunting all of the Tomorrow People and killing them as enemies of the human race. We later find that Stephen's uncle runs Ultra, and that Stephen's father is out there somewhere and can help save the rest of the Tomorrow People.

I know. Pretty unoriginal, but at least they can blame it on the fact that it's a 70's UK remake. (I am not at all interested in seeing the original. If you do, shoot me an email.) 

Here are just few examples of shows and movies that had a similar if not identical theme. #TheMatrix-Stephen is the chosen one. #The4400 #XMen and #Heroes - Enemies of the human race. #IronMan - The Tomorrow People have an artificial intelligence they stole named Tim. Remind you of #Jarvis? #StarWars- Doesn't this ragtag group of teenage Tomorrow People sound like a rebellion against the Empire?

There was an extremely silly line in the most recent episode. John, a pseudo leader of Tomorrow People, was trying to explain to Stephen why they couldn't help every kid with emerging powers. "Stephen, we're not superheroes." Really John? Really? What about this doesn't say superhero? I laughed out loud.

Next time we'll discuss #Scandal and #Arrow, both of which earned more than a full page of notes. Should be a fun read. Less fun to write. 

Finally, I leave you with a frightening thought I had last night. #VampireShows, especially with characters between the age of 16 and 30 are all the rage on television. Even major networks are trying their hands at the genre. So how much longer until we are introduced to #Twilight The Saga Continues. I cry for the future.