Sunday, July 19, 2015

A Friend's Top Ten

I got into making lists probably because of "High Fidelity" and Nick Hornby, the author of the original book. As a result of me talking about my top five or ten of random entertainment, my friend, Kel made her own list of Top 10 Best Tv Shows of All Time.

She's got good taste, but I'm a self-centered prick. Since I know better than everyone else, I'm going to write about it. #JustWrite

This is in no particular order.

I didn't even get through the first season, I was so bored. It's on Netflix, but so are a lot of shows I'd rather watch.

The X-Files
It was one of my sister's favorite shows. I liked it, as well. The movies were nonsensical.

Doctor Who
I have nothing to say. It's been on-air for over 50 years. And it's awesome.

I'm re-watching it with my wife and it cracks me up. But 'Friends' was better,

Seriously? It's on my queue. I just always have something better to watch.

Once Upon a Time
I liked it. I fell behind,on the current season. Even though it's on Hulu, I still haven't bothered to catch up.

Star Trek
Every series was awesome, including Enterprise. I watch Star Trek almost every day. Enterprise and DS9 were on at 5pm on Saturdays Who watches tv then?

How I Met Your Mother
Your brother is totally cray. The ending was shit. I didn't watch watch all that for 'Mother' to die in the end. I'll challenge the 'The Big Bang Theory' is a better show.

Yes. Yes. A million times yes.(That's what she said.)

Law & Order: SVU
I love SVU. But, I'd take NCIS anytime. NCIS is my current favorite show. I'm biased.

Finally, Ke's back ups.

The Office
Chicago Hope
Will & Grace

My backups.

The Walking Dead
30 Rock

Ranking Kel's shows, I give her an 8 out of 10.
I get 10 out of 10.

My blog, my rules. Jason always wins.

Thank you for reading this. Remember the first rule, "The Doctor lies."

Friday, July 10, 2015

Top Ten Artists I Wish I had Seen Live

This is a follow up blog post to my last one about the worst movies of all time. As before, they are listed in no particular order. Some of them have explanations attached, some might not.

Led Zeppelin
Easily, one of the greatest rock bands of all time.

Jimi Hendrix
The Star Spangled Banner. Woodstock. The end.

Bob Dylan
Possibly the greatest song writer of all time.

The eighth wonder of the world.

In my opinion, the best rapper alive.

Beastie Boys
Kate and I tried to sneak into Lollapalooza to see them because we couldn't find tickets. We also couldn't find a way in.

Tom Petty
I'd like to see Tom Petty, but probably not as much he'd like to meet Sam Smith.

Because he's Tupac.

Eric Clapton
Layla, acoustic. Layla, electric. Goodfellas. Enough said.

The Notorious B.I.G.
If it isn't Eminem, 2Pac, or Jay-Z, Biggie is the next best rapper ever.

The Foo Fighters get honorable mention. I was never a Nirvana fan. But Dave Grohl is a musical giant. I frequently piss off my wife because I tell her The Foo Fighters are more influential than Radiohead in music history. I might wrong, but I really enjoy antagonizing her. Sorry, Kate. I'm a dick.

Kate asked me if I was repeating blog topics. I wanted to give her a quick no, but I'd rather repeat a blog topic, than have to go back and re-read my own ramblings. So thank you. Email me if I already posted this list.


Top Ten Worst Movies of all Time

I have to preface this list.

I'm sure there are worst movies than these ten. Hopefully, I haven't seen them. But this is a list of the worst ever that I have seen. If I forgot a crappy movie, feel free to shoot me a message so that I can amend the list. Also, these horrible movies are listed in no particular order.

Halle Berry is one of the most gorgeous women on Earth. Even she couldn't save this horrific farce of a movie.

Ghosts of Mars
John Carpenter may end up in cinema hell for this. I saw this one in the theatre, and I spent most of those two hours laughing. And, it's supposedly a horror movie.

Battlefield Earth
Cavemen somehow figured out how to fly harrier jets. Explain that one.

Wing Commander
I actually own this DVD. Freddie Prinze Sr. probably rolled over in his grave after watching this enormous piece of crap.

Never Been Kissed
Wow. Just, wow.

If I were to rate my list, this could very well be the worst movie of all time. Everyone involved in this movie should be ashamed.

I love movies based on comic book characters. But, no. This movie, just no.

Batman & Robin
Joel Schumacher. Giant plastic nipples. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A recipe for total disaster.

Superman IV
I don't even know what to say about this movie, except that it was slightly shittier than Superman III.

From Justin to Kelly
I don't know why I saw this movie. It's even worse than you would imagine from an American Idol based movie.

If you haven't seen these movies, I don't have the words to describe how bad they are. Some of them are such garbage you may want to see them just to have a frame of reference. If you do, I recommend Gigli or Battlefield Earth. Those are probably the worst. If you do manage to get through any of these rubbish movies, I'd love to hear your opinion on how terrible they are.

Oh, and I don't want to hear from anyone about how 'Never Been Kissed' wasn't that bad. Because it was God-Awful.

Thanks for reading. Hasta luego.

Monday, July 6, 2015

The 4th of July

"God Bless America!" "USA! USA! U-S-A!!!" "Shock and Awe" "America, FUCK YEA"

By birth, I am Black, Puerto Rican, and a New Yorker. Please don't hold my New York birth against me. I grew up as a Chicagoan. I am 1000% American. 4th of July celebrations are extremely annoying.

A couple of years ago, some punk kids across the street were shooting off fireworks. A roman candle damn near hit pregnant Katie as we decided to go inside. It missed us, but we decided after that to just avoid our street during the 4th. This year and last year weren't bad. Most of the fireworks were sent from other streets.

Also, in the noise, you can't always tell a gunshot from all the surrounding noise. Too many people, many of them children, get shot in major metropolitan areas. I don't understand violence as a means of celebration, but it happens.

So we decided to spare our toddler and puppy, and get the hell out of dodge.

My parents live in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It's about 3 hours from us. I feel bad, because all I wanted to do was lay around and watch tv on my tablet. Thank you, to my parents and wife for putting up with me being a total sloth. Luckily, my mother was beyond eager to spend time with her grandson. She pretty much kicked us out of the house.
"You two should go to the movies or something. I'll take care of Isaiah. Go have fun."

I got Katie to go see 'Terminator Genisys' in the theatre. The rest of the visit we also watched 'Guardians of the Galaxy' and 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier', with me exclusively in my pajamas. Thanks, again to Mom and Kate for letting your boys do what they want. Sorry I didn't care about the Fort Wayne Philharmonic Orchestra.

We made quick time home. We pretty much relaxed for an hour, and then headed straight to the suburbs, to hang out with my brother, his wife and the complete madness that they had invited over for a bbq.

Kids everywhere. Terribly filled water balloons being thrown around. My brother completely stoned on too many allergy meds. Some dude that wouldn't ever stop talking his nonsense. One of the most obnoxious kid ever, threatening us grown-ups. My dog sick and tired of attention from the children.

My son was out of gas. and so were me, my wife, and dog. We left as they got ready to leave for the fireworks.

(BTW, my 30-year-old little brother was smoking a pipe. Kate hated the smell, and Rory, our dog, kept trying to eat the bag of tobacco.)

We got home and 'pretty much' all went to bed.

Today we had a birthday party for a 3-year old girl that started at 10:30. I had crazy dreams for the third time in four nights. I had no desire to wake up. According to Kate, I was talking in my sleep. But she also thinks I may have been responding to her, talking in her sleep. In my sleep, I woke her up asking for a lemonade, or something. She remembers offering me drinks in a dream, so at least I might not be completely crazy.

The toddler birthday party was different from my brother's. My friend, though mentally exhausted, was far more organized. My head would explode if I were to have that many toddlers in one place, at one time. But he has more space. And, I assume more money, but I don't ask people about how much they spend or earn. It's rude.

We finally got home, with nothing else we HAD to do. But, today in Chicago was absolutely perfect weather. 80 degrees, with a perfect sky. We hadn't had a chance to bust out the new baby pool, so we did it today. He was very cute, but wasn't happy that the dog wouldn't bounce around with him in the water.

It was a great weekend, but we're all exhausted. I'll share more pictures later. Here's one in the meantime.