Sunday, November 9, 2014

Being a Man

Do you know what a pain in the ass it to be a man? 

Being a man means you put your feelings aside. Being a man means taking care of the most important things in your life. Being a man means you're not even on a list of important things. Hell, my dog is more important than my life, and she's not even human. I struggle with this. I'm selfish. I like to think I'm the center of the universe, and sometimes I act like it. But I'm not, and no form of self delusion could convince me otherwise.

I'm a great dad. And I'm a great #stayathomedad. But there are days when I'd trade my son for a bucket of baseballs and a six pack of beer.You know those days. He won't stop crying. He wiped shit everywhere.He hid something you want/need in a hard to reach place. But I also realize it's not his fault. He's a child. And he's my child. I love him. I would do anything for him (especially if it makes him stop crying). Putting up with a child's nonsense, makes you a man.

My wife is the most gorgeous, intelligent, motivated woman I have ever known. Sometimes, though, she can be can be batshit crazy.It's usually my fault. Even when it isn't, I think about everything she does for me, and will do for me. How do you acknowledge someone crazy that puts up with your crazy? As my wife will attest, I haven't figured it out yet. In the mean time, I thank her, tell her I love her, and try to be less crazy (like that's going to happen). And that, I think, makes you a man.

My idiot dog begs to go outside, and then just sits on the porch barking at nothing. She demands attention, and then wants nothing to do with anyone. She wants her food, but doesn't want to eat it. She and my son are best friends, but they oftentimes want nothing to do with each other. Figuring out this garbage, makes you a man.

It can be tough. Sometimes, seemingly impossible.But learning is part of the process, and it makes me a man.

1 comment:

  1. I remember you infamously stating "I'm a grown ass man" about 15 years ago, but now you truly know what it is to be a man!