Dear Readers,
The last time I blogged about the worst movies of all time was in July of 2015. At the time, I couldn't remember all of the movies I had placed on my list. I also couldn't remember which of my journals I had kept the list. So, over the past 6 months I've made sure to jot notes when I thought of terrible movies that deserve to be on the list. I also asked friends and family to remind me, of some of the garbage we've seen, and which is noteworthy.
The following movies are terrible. Avoid them at all costs. As a side note, in my humble opinion, Brendan Fraser is one of the worst actors of all time. All of his movies should be ignored, "With Honors" being a possible exception. Some of his rubbish is on this list.
Rhinestone
Talking about terrible movies I confused titles. Urban Cowboy is bloody awful, but Rhinestone is easily one of the worst movies of all time. Watch it straight through, but keep a nurse on hand. Your eyes will bleed.
Over the Top
Back-to-back horrible Stallone movies. I love the Rocky movies, but these two are completely unforgivable.
Jeepers Creepers
I saw this load of crap with one of my first serious girlfriends. Afterwards we had a late dinner at White Castle. White Castle was the highlight of our date.
Bedazzled and Blast From the Past
Brendan Fraser may go straight to hell for these two bad jokes of a movie. The only redeeming scene in any of his movies is this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAd0sx3E2eI
50 Shades of Grey
I accept the shame. Not only did I try to watch this piece of trash with my wife, we both read the piece of trash book it was based on. It might not be bad enough to blind you, but that's only because you won't get through it.
Bewitched
This is how I reacted to this piece of crap movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2USMvShha4w
Superman III
Batman & Robin was terrible. Superman IV was worse. Superman III was only slightly less shitty. Superman subdued evil kryptonite/tar with a stack of tires. A stack of tires. Seriously.
Hopefully, I don't have to sit through too many more of these crappy movies. If I do, I'll make sure to post another addendum to the worst movies of all time. As always, thanks burning brain cells reading my blog.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and try not to screw up 2016
-J
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Passion
I haven't posted in a long while. I've got some ideas written down in journals, I just haven't gotten around to them. Yet.
This doesn't count as a real blog post. It's just a quotation that reminds me why I need to #justwrite, and not worry about about content all of the time. Put my thoughts to paper, or, be that as it may, internet blog. This is from 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 2nd season, episode 17, written by Joss Whedon, performed by David Boreanaz.
"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." - Joss Whedon
For me, this applies especially to my wife, son, family, friends, and God. (That's in no particular order, #God.) But it also applies to reading, writing, TV, movies, politics, and sports. (That's also, in no particular order, #WhiteSox.
It reminds me of the great, philosophical and historical quotations at the beginning of every episode of #CriminalMinds. Even more than that, it reminds me of a Star Trek quotation, and a great classic rock song.
"You must learn to control your emotions, or they will control you." Star Trek, Vulcan philosophy (paraphrased)
"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." - Stephen Stills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH3ruuml-R4
Don't read anything into this post, especially family and friends, and my damned dog. I just thought actually posting what popped into my head immediately would motivate me more than notes wallowing away in one of me journals.
Here's hoping my next post(s) will be more original, and possibly interesting.
Happy Hollidays, -J
This doesn't count as a real blog post. It's just a quotation that reminds me why I need to #justwrite, and not worry about about content all of the time. Put my thoughts to paper, or, be that as it may, internet blog. This is from 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 2nd season, episode 17, written by Joss Whedon, performed by David Boreanaz.
"Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead." - Joss Whedon
For me, this applies especially to my wife, son, family, friends, and God. (That's in no particular order, #God.) But it also applies to reading, writing, TV, movies, politics, and sports. (That's also, in no particular order, #WhiteSox.
It reminds me of the great, philosophical and historical quotations at the beginning of every episode of #CriminalMinds. Even more than that, it reminds me of a Star Trek quotation, and a great classic rock song.
"You must learn to control your emotions, or they will control you." Star Trek, Vulcan philosophy (paraphrased)
"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." - Stephen Stills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH3ruuml-R4
Don't read anything into this post, especially family and friends, and my damned dog. I just thought actually posting what popped into my head immediately would motivate me more than notes wallowing away in one of me journals.
Here's hoping my next post(s) will be more original, and possibly interesting.
Happy Hollidays, -J
Sunday, November 1, 2015
World Series
A lot of my friends and family are Cubs fans. They've given me a lot of grief the past few weeks for being a Cubs "Hater". This will be the last time I explain my baseball fandom.
I am a White Sox fan, first and foremost. And so yes, I hate the Cubs. But I was actually born a Mets fan, and I still root for them. My first address was 31-17 21st, Queens, NY. That's about ten minutes from Shea Stadium, where the Mets played before it was Citi Field. We moved to Illinois when I was 7 years old.
I definitely rooted for my Mets against the Cubs in the NLCS. To be honest, I'd have rooted for anyone against the Cubs. But, I don't think that should diminish my fandom of the Mets. I'm in fact, wearing my new Mets visor, watching the Mets in the World series, up 2-0. I have another Mets cap, but I can't find it. In my defense, I have around 30 caps.
I also have to elaborate that I was 5 years old when the Mets won The World Series in 1986. That's one of my earliest baseball memories. By the time I was 7 I'd been to 13 Yankee games, and 3 Mets games. My dad and uncles were all Yankee fans.
It's ironic that my two favorite teams are from NY and Chicago, and my two least favorite teams are from NY and Chicago. I hate the damned Yankees, and the miserable Cubs.
When we moved to IL my pops and I agreed we both had to be White Sox fans. He had to stick with an American League team, I couldn't root for another National League team. Also, the Cubs haven't been good in three lifetimes, and I can't get behind that.
So here I am. A displaced Mets fan, who's favorite team (White Sox) is terrible. At least the Mets made it to the World Series.
The Royals just scored. If the Mets lose, I'm going to track down Terry Collins and choke him to death.
Thanks, as always for reading. I have to go watch the Mets fall apart.
-J
I am a White Sox fan, first and foremost. And so yes, I hate the Cubs. But I was actually born a Mets fan, and I still root for them. My first address was 31-17 21st, Queens, NY. That's about ten minutes from Shea Stadium, where the Mets played before it was Citi Field. We moved to Illinois when I was 7 years old.
I definitely rooted for my Mets against the Cubs in the NLCS. To be honest, I'd have rooted for anyone against the Cubs. But, I don't think that should diminish my fandom of the Mets. I'm in fact, wearing my new Mets visor, watching the Mets in the World series, up 2-0. I have another Mets cap, but I can't find it. In my defense, I have around 30 caps.
I also have to elaborate that I was 5 years old when the Mets won The World Series in 1986. That's one of my earliest baseball memories. By the time I was 7 I'd been to 13 Yankee games, and 3 Mets games. My dad and uncles were all Yankee fans.
It's ironic that my two favorite teams are from NY and Chicago, and my two least favorite teams are from NY and Chicago. I hate the damned Yankees, and the miserable Cubs.
When we moved to IL my pops and I agreed we both had to be White Sox fans. He had to stick with an American League team, I couldn't root for another National League team. Also, the Cubs haven't been good in three lifetimes, and I can't get behind that.
So here I am. A displaced Mets fan, who's favorite team (White Sox) is terrible. At least the Mets made it to the World Series.
The Royals just scored. If the Mets lose, I'm going to track down Terry Collins and choke him to death.
Thanks, as always for reading. I have to go watch the Mets fall apart.
-J
Monday, October 19, 2015
Premeire Week Part IV
This is my last post about 'Premiere Week', I promise. (Probably, Maybe.)
Every year during premiere season, I turn into a blindly optimistic, wildly inaccurate, Cubs fan type of #TVJunkie.
"Oooh, I like this show! Everyone will, you just wait."
Without fail, shows I hate run for only a few seasons or less, and the shows I really like, get cancelled immediately, or right before they have a chance to write a finale episode. I won't make a list of those ,since it goes back to the mid-to-late 90s. Instead, here comes what I've cancelled from my list, what's on the verge of getting dumped, and the shows I haven't rated yet.
Shows I haven't rated yet, are such, because either they haven't started yet, or I haven't yet watched any/enough of the current season.
Alpha-Mike-Foxtrot
(AMF is an acronym from my military shows and movies that means 'Adios Mother-Fucker'. I'm done with this these shows.)
The Muppets - I'm a #StayAtHomeDad of a toddler and a 7 month old puppy. When primetime hits, I've had enough of puppets, curious monkeys, and (#ForCryinOutLoud) Elmo. Give me some sex, violence, and rock'n'roll. Plus, I didn't enjoy the pilot episode.
Scream Queens - I've already seen pop-horror-ironic culture. I could barely tolerate it the first time around. I don't need it again, this time with commercials.
Chicago Med - In fairness to Dick Wolf, I didn't even watch the whole pilot. I just wasn't interested. I HATE medical dramas. I didn't even enjoy #ER. My sis did, so I watched some, but no thanks. I'll give it another try if they can manage to drown it in episodes of Chicago Fire, and Chicago PD.
Shark Tank - I actually like #SharkTank. But I like a ton of shows more. I'll continue to watch it, but only inasmuch there's nothing better to watch on primetime, or read in a book.
Questionable Starters
(That's sports talk for "Possibly Could Be a Good But Maybe Not")
Minority Report - It was a brilliant short story by Philip K. Dick. Read it, immediately. I took the movie with a grain of salt, as should you. After all, Tom Cruise was in it. The TV adaptations are getting fewer grains of salt by the minute, but it's worth waiting to form an opinion. You'd know that if you were a precog.
The Last Man on Earth - The premise is interesting and funny. The characters are quirky, and past ridiculous. It can be annoyingly stupid at times, but it's only a half hour show. That alone may mean I keep watching it.
Grandfathered - It's starring John Stamos, but all I see is Uncle Jesse from Full House. I always enjoy it when it's on, I just forget that it's on.
How to Get Away With Murder - It's a tantalizing show. I enjoy it. A show about murdering lawyers is right up my alley. But not when all of the characters are the least likable characters on all of television.
Unlisted
Sports isn't on my viewing list. That doesn't mean I don't watch. It means that anytime the White Sox, The Bulls, The BlackHawks, University of Michigan football, or just about any playoff baseball (even the Cubs) is on, I'm likely switching back and forth between sports, and one of my shows.
Not Yet
This list is comprised of shows that haven't yet begun, or by my #TVJunkie shame haven't watched yet. Sorry, #Oncers and #TeamTardis.
Elementary - Hasn't started yet, but I can't wait for me some Sherlock and Watson.
Person of Interest - I feel like I haven't seen Mr. Reese and Finch in forever.
Once Upon a Time - I haven't watched one minute of the current season, and I'm sorry.
Doctor Who - I've watched the season premiere, and half of the second episode. Don't tell my wife, I at some point bought the third episode on Amazon Instant.
X-Files - The first episode of the new series is tonight, after Gotham. Maybe I'll live tweet it.
Supergirl - With great power comes great responsibility, and the ability to screw up a newly re-vamped #DC. By the way, since 'DC' stands for 'Detective Comics', referring to it as 'DC Comics' is redundant, and stupid.
Como siempre, gracias para leer, y que te vaya bien.
-J
Every year during premiere season, I turn into a blindly optimistic, wildly inaccurate, Cubs fan type of #TVJunkie.
"Oooh, I like this show! Everyone will, you just wait."
Without fail, shows I hate run for only a few seasons or less, and the shows I really like, get cancelled immediately, or right before they have a chance to write a finale episode. I won't make a list of those ,since it goes back to the mid-to-late 90s. Instead, here comes what I've cancelled from my list, what's on the verge of getting dumped, and the shows I haven't rated yet.
Shows I haven't rated yet, are such, because either they haven't started yet, or I haven't yet watched any/enough of the current season.
Alpha-Mike-Foxtrot
(AMF is an acronym from my military shows and movies that means 'Adios Mother-Fucker'. I'm done with this these shows.)
The Muppets - I'm a #StayAtHomeDad of a toddler and a 7 month old puppy. When primetime hits, I've had enough of puppets, curious monkeys, and (#ForCryinOutLoud) Elmo. Give me some sex, violence, and rock'n'roll. Plus, I didn't enjoy the pilot episode.
Scream Queens - I've already seen pop-horror-ironic culture. I could barely tolerate it the first time around. I don't need it again, this time with commercials.
Chicago Med - In fairness to Dick Wolf, I didn't even watch the whole pilot. I just wasn't interested. I HATE medical dramas. I didn't even enjoy #ER. My sis did, so I watched some, but no thanks. I'll give it another try if they can manage to drown it in episodes of Chicago Fire, and Chicago PD.
Shark Tank - I actually like #SharkTank. But I like a ton of shows more. I'll continue to watch it, but only inasmuch there's nothing better to watch on primetime, or read in a book.
Questionable Starters
(That's sports talk for "Possibly Could Be a Good But Maybe Not")
Minority Report - It was a brilliant short story by Philip K. Dick. Read it, immediately. I took the movie with a grain of salt, as should you. After all, Tom Cruise was in it. The TV adaptations are getting fewer grains of salt by the minute, but it's worth waiting to form an opinion. You'd know that if you were a precog.
The Last Man on Earth - The premise is interesting and funny. The characters are quirky, and past ridiculous. It can be annoyingly stupid at times, but it's only a half hour show. That alone may mean I keep watching it.
Grandfathered - It's starring John Stamos, but all I see is Uncle Jesse from Full House. I always enjoy it when it's on, I just forget that it's on.
How to Get Away With Murder - It's a tantalizing show. I enjoy it. A show about murdering lawyers is right up my alley. But not when all of the characters are the least likable characters on all of television.
Unlisted
Sports isn't on my viewing list. That doesn't mean I don't watch. It means that anytime the White Sox, The Bulls, The BlackHawks, University of Michigan football, or just about any playoff baseball (even the Cubs) is on, I'm likely switching back and forth between sports, and one of my shows.
Not Yet
This list is comprised of shows that haven't yet begun, or by my #TVJunkie shame haven't watched yet. Sorry, #Oncers and #TeamTardis.
Elementary - Hasn't started yet, but I can't wait for me some Sherlock and Watson.
Person of Interest - I feel like I haven't seen Mr. Reese and Finch in forever.
Once Upon a Time - I haven't watched one minute of the current season, and I'm sorry.
Doctor Who - I've watched the season premiere, and half of the second episode. Don't tell my wife, I at some point bought the third episode on Amazon Instant.
X-Files - The first episode of the new series is tonight, after Gotham. Maybe I'll live tweet it.
Supergirl - With great power comes great responsibility, and the ability to screw up a newly re-vamped #DC. By the way, since 'DC' stands for 'Detective Comics', referring to it as 'DC Comics' is redundant, and stupid.
Como siempre, gracias para leer, y que te vaya bien.
-J
Monday, October 5, 2015
Premiere Week Part III
Week three of the premiere season is an interesting time for a #TVJunkie. Most shows have proven whether or not they are worth viewership, some are just about to start, and some won't start until the January 2016. I keep a comprehensive TV schedule on our fridge. Here's a breakdown, from night to night. Keep in mind, I only have basic cable. I watch everything on Netflix, Hulu, Comcast On Demand, or live.
Sunday
Brooklyn 99 - So far, so good. As funny as the last season.
The Good Wife - Last night was the premiere. Not enough data to judge it yet, but I liked it.
The Last Man On Earth - Silly and ridiculous, but worth 22 minutes if you have the minutes to spare.
Once Upon a Time - Ashamed to say, as a #Oncer, I haven't watched any of it yet.
Quantico - Really good new show. I'll stick with this one for a bit.
Monday
Gotham - Yes. Yes. Yes.
Castle - Good, but not overwhelmingly good. Yet. We'll see in 45 minutes.
NCIS:LA - Awesome. It's becoming one of my favorite shows. That says a lot, considering the volume of TV I watch.
The Big Bang Theory - Not yet back, but I'm thirsty for more of the last season. Except for Penny's hair.
Minority Report - Premise and plot are great. The dialogue makes me want to throw up in my own mouth.
Blindspot - I wasn't interested, but really good. I have a crush on Jaimie Alexander. She's an Avenger.
Tuesday
NCIS - Still my favorite, currently running show. Still awesome.
Marvel's Agents of Shield - Meh. Watchable, but so for, not all that engaging.
The Flash - Hasn't started yet. I think tomorrow.
NCIS: New Orleans - Mediocre. But I can't, not watch. Scott Bakula is NCIS + Quantum Leap + Star Trek.
Grandfathered - It's ok. It stars Uncle Jesse from Full House.
The Muppets - Total crap. I even had a dream that Muppets appeared to ruin other shows.
Scream Queens - No. No. No. Comcast tells me people like this show. It makes my brain melt.
Supergirl - Due October 26th.
Limitless - Best show on TV. Even better than my precious NCIS. Seriously.
Wednesday
Black-ish - I'm always worried, white people won't 'get' this show. But, somehow, they do. It's hilarious.
Arrow - Premiere is Wednesday. Can't wait.
Rosewood - One of the best of the new shows, I doubt anyone will watch. I bet cancelled by November.
Empire - Empire's upcoming episodes look better than the premiere. Premiere was pretty good, though.
SVU - Always great, but no greater than previous episodes or seasons.
Chicago PD - Brilliant premiere! Can't wait for the follow up, and the premiere of Chicago Fire.
Criminal Minds - Good episode, but not anything unseen before.
Thursday
Scandal - Not all that impressive, but it did leave me wanting more.
Bones - Wiskey Tango Foxtrot. I need another episode, like, yesterday.
Heroes Reborn - Meh. Not bad, not good. Just, meh. At least Hiro is in thenext episode.
How to Get Away With Murder - There isn't a single likeable character on the show. I like it, but they're starting to get annoying.
The Blacklist - If you don't yet watch it, you've fucked up. Watch, immediately.
Friday
Last Man Standing - I watch a lot of TV. Mostly cop shows, but LMS is at the top of my comedies.
Hawaii 5-O - Jorge Garcia got a sort of badge, so I'm happy.
Blue Bloods - Great ep! I'd like an all-Reagan administration. More tv, please.
Saturday
Doctor Who - I'm a terrible Whovian for having only seen the first episode. But I enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading this. I find myself so obnoxious, that I can't even proofread my posts, or comprehend why even a friend would read it. But, hopefully, I'll post again soon.
Gracias para toda, que te vaya bien, y hasta luego.
-J
Sunday
Brooklyn 99 - So far, so good. As funny as the last season.
The Good Wife - Last night was the premiere. Not enough data to judge it yet, but I liked it.
The Last Man On Earth - Silly and ridiculous, but worth 22 minutes if you have the minutes to spare.
Once Upon a Time - Ashamed to say, as a #Oncer, I haven't watched any of it yet.
Quantico - Really good new show. I'll stick with this one for a bit.
Monday
Gotham - Yes. Yes. Yes.
Castle - Good, but not overwhelmingly good. Yet. We'll see in 45 minutes.
NCIS:LA - Awesome. It's becoming one of my favorite shows. That says a lot, considering the volume of TV I watch.
The Big Bang Theory - Not yet back, but I'm thirsty for more of the last season. Except for Penny's hair.
Minority Report - Premise and plot are great. The dialogue makes me want to throw up in my own mouth.
Blindspot - I wasn't interested, but really good. I have a crush on Jaimie Alexander. She's an Avenger.
Tuesday
NCIS - Still my favorite, currently running show. Still awesome.
Marvel's Agents of Shield - Meh. Watchable, but so for, not all that engaging.
The Flash - Hasn't started yet. I think tomorrow.
NCIS: New Orleans - Mediocre. But I can't, not watch. Scott Bakula is NCIS + Quantum Leap + Star Trek.
Grandfathered - It's ok. It stars Uncle Jesse from Full House.
The Muppets - Total crap. I even had a dream that Muppets appeared to ruin other shows.
Scream Queens - No. No. No. Comcast tells me people like this show. It makes my brain melt.
Supergirl - Due October 26th.
Limitless - Best show on TV. Even better than my precious NCIS. Seriously.
Wednesday
Black-ish - I'm always worried, white people won't 'get' this show. But, somehow, they do. It's hilarious.
Arrow - Premiere is Wednesday. Can't wait.
Rosewood - One of the best of the new shows, I doubt anyone will watch. I bet cancelled by November.
Empire - Empire's upcoming episodes look better than the premiere. Premiere was pretty good, though.
SVU - Always great, but no greater than previous episodes or seasons.
Chicago PD - Brilliant premiere! Can't wait for the follow up, and the premiere of Chicago Fire.
Criminal Minds - Good episode, but not anything unseen before.
Thursday
Scandal - Not all that impressive, but it did leave me wanting more.
Bones - Wiskey Tango Foxtrot. I need another episode, like, yesterday.
Heroes Reborn - Meh. Not bad, not good. Just, meh. At least Hiro is in thenext episode.
How to Get Away With Murder - There isn't a single likeable character on the show. I like it, but they're starting to get annoying.
The Blacklist - If you don't yet watch it, you've fucked up. Watch, immediately.
Friday
Last Man Standing - I watch a lot of TV. Mostly cop shows, but LMS is at the top of my comedies.
Hawaii 5-O - Jorge Garcia got a sort of badge, so I'm happy.
Blue Bloods - Great ep! I'd like an all-Reagan administration. More tv, please.
Saturday
Doctor Who - I'm a terrible Whovian for having only seen the first episode. But I enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading this. I find myself so obnoxious, that I can't even proofread my posts, or comprehend why even a friend would read it. But, hopefully, I'll post again soon.
Gracias para toda, que te vaya bien, y hasta luego.
-J
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Premiere Week Part II
Premiere week has been crappy so far. I'll continue to watch all of my shows, but only a couple have impressed me.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Premiere Week Part 1
I haven't been able to figure out what to blog about in over a month. But it's premiere week. I love writing about my shows. Now that they're back, I have writing material for days and weeks.
Scream Queens
Scream Queens was total rubbish. After a character said,"Michael Bay is the best director of all time." I had to turn it off. It's only redeeming qualities were #JamieLeeCurtis, #NasimPedrad, and #NiecyNash.
Gotham
Bruce finally found his Bat Cave. I wonder if we'll ever get to meet Batman in this show. I was also disturbed by James Gordon colluding with Penguin. and committing homicide. Batman was always my favorite hero. So it'll be fun to find out how Riddler, the medical examiner, becomes a super-villain.
Minority Report
I read the 1956 short story by Philip K. Dick, and I saw the Tom Cruise movie adaptation. The new show doesn't do it justice. It's not terrible, and it does a fair job of explaining 'pre-crime', but it's mostly enjoyable.
I'm a TV-Junkie during premiere week. I apologize for my crazy.
-J
Scream Queens
Scream Queens was total rubbish. After a character said,"Michael Bay is the best director of all time." I had to turn it off. It's only redeeming qualities were #JamieLeeCurtis, #NasimPedrad, and #NiecyNash.
Gotham
Bruce finally found his Bat Cave. I wonder if we'll ever get to meet Batman in this show. I was also disturbed by James Gordon colluding with Penguin. and committing homicide. Batman was always my favorite hero. So it'll be fun to find out how Riddler, the medical examiner, becomes a super-villain.
Minority Report
I read the 1956 short story by Philip K. Dick, and I saw the Tom Cruise movie adaptation. The new show doesn't do it justice. It's not terrible, and it does a fair job of explaining 'pre-crime', but it's mostly enjoyable.
I'm a TV-Junkie during premiere week. I apologize for my crazy.
-J
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