Thursday, October 13, 2016

Stay At Home Dad

I haven't been writing much lately, I apologize. Lately everything worth talking about just pisses me off. Politics, baseball, Chicago teachers' striking... It's all bullshit. But, I do have a quick story that illustrates perfectly what it is to be a stay at home parent.

My wife is a Chicago Public School teacher. Though she'll dispute it, she's also an administrator. Her brother and I both have a bet with her becoming an admin. She's currently losing. There's really no point since she's the one bringing home the paycheck, but I like to win.

Today's plans for me were the cable guy coming, reportedly between 10am and noon. Shockingly, he arrived at 10am sharp. (I know, right?) After that, our speech therapist was coming at 330pm. Isaiah hasn't been sleeping normally lately. The terrible twos have hit hard, especially since we've taken away pacifiers, and are prepping for potty training.

When Kate got a break from meetings she called home. The conversation lasted about 30 seconds and went something like this.

Me - Hey, babe.
Her - Hi. Just calling to check in. Did the cable guy make it? I know-
Me - Rory! Isaiah! Stop fighting over a stupid McDonalds toy!
Me - Go lay down, before one of you gets smacked (dog), and the other gets an early nap (child).
My wife's boss in the background - Hi, Jason!
Me - HEY!!! I said STOP!
Me - Hi, boss!
Cable guy calling - I hang up on my wife without even saying goodbye.
Cable guy - I'm gonna have to send a repair crew. Should be here in the next day, and-
Me - SHUT UP!!! Sorry, not you. The pup and kid are fighting.
Cable guy - Hahaha No worries.

I then abruptly hung up. Again, without saying a word. All this happened while I was trying to clean up before my son's speech therapist came over, make lunch, and keep an eye on my son while a stranger (Comcast cable guy). All I really wanted was a beer and a cigarette.

I feel bad for my other stay-at-home-parent friends for bitching about it when I only have the one child and puppy. Some of them have more kids, special needs, longer days, Cub fans, shitty family members, shitty neighbors, devastating weather, poor health, and generic brand toilet paper. I feel for you. I appreciate you. #FirstWorldProblems #TheStruggleIsReal

As always, thanks for reading. I know it's not very entertaining reading someone's online rants.

Cool runnings, and peace be the journey.


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