Premiere Week Part II

Kate asked me if I stopped at "H" because I didn't have a show that started with "I", "J" or "K".  Truth be told, 26 divided by 3 is 8 with 2 remaining. I was planning on breaking up my shows by letter, into three parts, but there aren't that many shows after "H". So here's the rest of the best.

J - Justified

I just started watching it on Amazon Prime. I knew in the first five minutes that it was my kind of show. Sarcasm, guns, and cowboy hats; yes please.

L - Last Man Standing

Best show on Friday night. Tim Allen is still hilarious.

M - Madam Secretary

Tea Leoni is brilliant, and still hot. But really, the show isn't all that good.

N - NCIS: New Orleans

The discussion is over. Everything Scott Bakula does is amazing.

P - Person of Interest

Possibly the best show on television. I miss Tariji Henson.

S - Scandal

Not happy. Harrison Wright deserved better.

T - The Tonight Show

The best thing Rahm Emanuel has done was to trick Jimmy Fallon into bringing it to Chicago.

U - Utopia

I hate most reality shows. I think every person on the show would die,  if left to their own skills.

W- The Walking Dead

I miss zombies. Ready for this show to come back.

I couldn't mention every show for every letter. I did my best. If anyone can think of a show for X, Y or Z, I'll take you out for a beer. Thanks for reading, talk to you later.

Premiere Week Part I

In case some how you have read my blog, and don't know that I'm about to go crazy for next week, I'm about to lose my mind for premiere season. All of my shows start next week. If you don't know what I'm excited about, you can check my previous blog posts. Plus and minus a few shows, they are mostly on my list.

In the interest of keeping my blithering to a minimum, I'm going to list my shows A through Z. Each show will get around two sentences describing my thoughts on the upcoming season. After I'm finished, I'll go back through the shows that weren't the top show for a letter, and any shows I may have forgotten. I'll point out the shows that I quit watching.

If I forget anything, feel free to let me know. I am free to ignore you, or tell you I just don't care.

A -Arrow
For once in a DC show, The Hero should go and get the smart,hot girl. Ollie and Felicity belong together.

B - Bones
Have a fun time legally explaining the carnage of serving a warrant into the house of an FBI Special Agent, and the world's leading forensic expert. Caroline is going to rip you apart in the courthouse, then Booth is going to kill you.

C - Castle
Castle probably has a tracer on him. You're in serious trouble when Beckett finds you. And then, they better issue Castle a service weapon.

D - Doctor Who
I like Capaldi, and I still like Jenna, as Doctor and Companion. For cryin' out loud, write some better episodes.

E - Elementary
If Sherlock and Joan don't get back together on a case , I'll punch you myself. Sherlock and Watson is the basis of the show. Get them back working together.

F - Flash
Yes. Yes, please.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj0l7iGKh8g

G - Gotham
Anything Batman = winner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d1zpt6k5OI

H - Hawaii 5-O
Jorge Garcia and Chi McBride are permanent characters now. Challenge them, I dare you.

This isn't a perfect description of what I'm watching next week. But, DAMN, that's a pretty strong A-H. I'm sure I can't follow up that list with I-P. I'm also sure that my whole schedule is screwed up, because I'll be watching the Bears on Monday Night Football. I'm sure I'll live-tweet some of the game, so check me out.

@JasonJoelSmith

A Letter to The American Giants

Dear American Giants,

First, I'd like to thank you all for a great year. In fact, it's the best year The American Giants have ever had. We worked very hard the past couple of years to put the pieces of this team together. Some of you have been around MLB for a good amount of time, some of you are relatively new. But, all of you have delivered.

Albert, and Adam deserve special recognition, As our team captains, you both have done tremendous jobs as captains. Al, I'm taking you out for a beer when the season concludes. Together we're gonna tell all the naysayers, talking about age and diminishing skills, exactly where they can put their predictions. Adam, if they don't give you a Cy Young for this season, they should shut the whole thing down.

That said, I need a little more from The American Giants. Al, hit home runs like you did at Minute Maid Park. Homers that end up in orbit. Nellie, hit like you were still on the juice. Buster, don't go 5 for 5. Go 5-5 with a couple of dingers. Charlie, I need you to hit for the cycle.

Guys, we're losing slugging percentage. This should not happen to a group of guys with this much ability. I know some of you are tired and bit dinged up. Fuck all that. Put that bat to the ball and go for extra bases. Make a single a double. Make a double a home run. But don't get thrown out being silly, because we have no margin for error.

Again, thanks. You're the best group of guys I've ever had the pleasure of managing. I haven't given up, and I don't want any of you to. So let's get to the big show, and show the ICA what we're made of.

Sincerely,

The American Giants
Jason J. Smith
Stephen Weiland

#FantasySports #ICA #FantasyBaseball #FantasyFootball

I feel like it is absolutely necessary to preface this blog post about my #fantasybaseball and #fantasyfootball activity.

Preface
1. I suck at #FantasySports. I have never won a championship in any league, in any sport I have ever played in (baseball, football, basketball).
2. I have been playing fantasy baseball with the same group of friend since high school, fifteen years ago, I've never made the playoffs.
3. I've made the playoffs intermittently in fantasy football. It's much easier, in my mind, because each team only plays once per week.
4. Every other fantasy sport, besides baseball and football, is stupid.
5. The fantasy baseball league I am in is far more complex, to the point of insanity, than any you have heard in any sport.
6. Fantasy discussion is extremely boring to those not initiated. If that's you thanks for reading this far. You may go now.

Fantasy Football (briefly)

Past the #ChicagoBears, I know/care very little about football. I know even less about fantasy football.

I'm in a "Couples' League" with my wife and some close friends. Our team name #ElCunado. You will only understand this team name if you've watched the #FX show #TheLeague. We do alright in the league, pretty much only because we watch #NFL on Sundays, and I'm never in fantasy baseball playoffs, so I never have that to distract me when the draft comes around. This year my wife didn't add me as co-manager until late, so we ended up auto drafting our entire time. She was in bed for the night. I was probably taking care of a screaming infant, or watching #FallonTonight #TheTonightShow, or dozing on the couch with reruns of #Stargate on the television. #Yahoo grade our draft as a B.

My other league is even less interesting. A friend needed a guy to join his work league and asked me. It didn't cost anything to join, and if I win, all I get is bragging rights. I actually participated in this draft even though it started on a Tuesday night at 11:30pm. That's what happens when you join a league of restaurant employees. Yahoo also gave this draft a B, though I think I did a little better than that.

Fantasy Baseball

Fantasy Baseball is really where I pay the most attention, despite it never having done me any good before this year. We hold live, yearly meetings for the Winter Meetings, the draft, and usually hang out at least a few times in-season. It started, I think, as a 6-team league, but since has evolved into a 12-team keeper league. Complete with league offices, co-managers, multiple meaningless trophies, and a #StanleyCup type trophy passed to the league champion every year, it is the most exhausting league you will ever lay eyes on. If you think I'm exaggerating, check out our comprehensive rulebook.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Skx8ad1NHp12zSF_mjXSiz7lKksQN2bbIxip_VWOij8/edit

My team is called #TheAmericanGiants, named after the most successful Chicago baseball team in history, The American Giants, from the #AmericanNegroLeague.

I've never been good, but this year I finished with the second best record in the league, made the playoffs and am now on the verge of making it to the finals with two days left in the current playoff round. Much credit goes to my good friend Stephen, who I hired as my Director of Player Personnel. He used to have a successful franchise in our group but left to concentrate on more grown up stuff. (If you ask me, #GrownUpStuff is for suckers.)

He helped a ton getting me into the playoffs, but we had a different opinions as how to handle the team once we got there. He prefers to play very conservatively. After getting an early lead, he thought we should bench the team, and ride it out to close conclusion, but a win, nonetheless. I preferred to ride the horses that got us here (yes, that was a horse racing reference), and #GoBigOrGoHome. After two days of fiddling back and forth with the roster, it looks like we were both right. I think his way, we'd have tied and won (higher seed wins the tiebreaker). And my way we'd have won by 3 or so points outright, but I've have been tempted to mess with the roster all week and possibly screwed myself. Our win, isn't set in stone yet, we still have 2 days of play left, but at least I'm looking right in the face of a championship series, something I have never done in my life.

I'll post again soon if we make the finals. In the meantime, if you're the praying type, say a prayer for the American Giants. If you also happen to be Catholic, #SaintSebastian is the patron saint of soldiers and athletes. Many call him the 'Patron Saint of Sports'. (Thanks #Google)

March on Chicago American Giants!

How I Met Your Mother Part II

I thought I was done talking about this show #HowIMetYourMother #HIMYM. But apparently, I'm not done. The alternate ending to the show was leaked online. #CBS has yet to confirm or deny its authenticity, but it seems pretty real, and I'm going to treat it like it is real.

Before I tell you about the alternate ending, I'd like to share some of the alternate show titles that would have been more appropriate for the conclusion of the show.

How I Met Your Mother and Then She Died
How Your Mother Died
How I Met Your Mother and Chased Aunt Robin
How I Wasted Your Time
How I Asked Children Permission

Those were just a few of the ideas I had.

If this is, in fact, an alternate ending, I have to ask the question, "What were the writer/producers thinking?" This was WAY better than the aired ending. For me, a finale needs to wrap everything up. There shouldn't be a feeling of there's more to the story. It doesn't have to be happy, it doesn't have to be sad. It just has to be the end. The #HIMYM aired finale left me wondering what happened next with Ted and Robin. And that's not right.

The alternate ending, however, has no such ambiguity. After Ted leaves the wedding he meets the girl he was always destined to marry. They shared a yellow umbrella, she attended the Econ class he wasn't supposed to teach, and they went to the same club on some St. Patrick's Day.

"Funny how sometimes, you just find things."

 Tracy even met the rest of the #HIMYM group of friends before meeting Ted. Oh yea, the Mother's name is Tracy.

The point is, after almost a decade, when it's time to shut it down, it's time to shut it down. Please, just shut it down in a way that won't piss off everyone that watched the show.

Here's a link to watch the alternate ending.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarettwieselman/how-i-met-your-mother-alternate-ending?bffbmain#2z4oft2

As always, thanks  for reading. Good night, and good luck.

Don't Call it a Comeback

Well, apparently I took the entire summer off writing. To say nothing interesting happened, would be to lie. Wifey and I took a few fantastic trips. My baby boy transformed into a human being with, personality and everything. We saw couples get married, neighbors act the fool, my Dad jumped out of a plane, and I had my first Father's Day as a Dad. It was a good summer. I am also on the verge of winning my division in fantasy baseball. So that's cool.

But my passion as a writer, is usually about television. So, my first new post in a while, fittingly, has to be about all of the television I'm excited to watch next month during premiere week.

Above is mine and Katie's Fall schedule (mostly mine). I'ts kind of a weird list for a number of reasons.

1. A bunch of shows that we (I) watch during the summer aren't on it. #RoyalPains #Suits and #UnderTheDome won't be back for a while. It was easier to just leave them off.

2. A few shows don't have air dates assigned yet by their respective networks. #BetterCallSaul on #AMC, #Glee on #Fox, #Community now on #Yahoo, #OrangeIsTheNewBlack and #HouseOfCards (both on #Netflix), aren't yet listed. Some time during January or February of 2015 is the best guess, but really, who knows.

3. There are some shows that have been out, that I just haven't watched yet. #RookieBlue and #Motive are at the top of that list.

4. #DoctorWho, episode #DeepBreath was the first premiere of the season. It deserves its own blog post. It was that bloody brilliant. I watched it with my father-in-law, at his house, which should tell you my level of anticipation.

Wrapping up, I'd like to mention the shows I am most excited about returning, or debuting. #Flash, a spinoff of #Arrow will be insanely good. #NCISNewOrleans brings #ScottBakula #StarTrekEnterprise #QuantumLeap back to our small screen, and I can't wait. I've missed #BenMcKenzie from #TheOC and I think #Gotham is going to kick major ass.Who's going to die on #ChicagoFire? I dunno, but it'll probably blow my mind. And #AndySamberg might be the funniest person on tv, on the funniest show on tv #BrooklynNineNine.

As always, thank you for reading. I'll be right back tomorrow. Or next week. Or whenever.

-J

Girl Meets World

"It's Friday night. And the mood is right. We're gonna have some fun, show you how it's done, TGIF!"

I feel super old right now. It's really hard to believe that 'Boy Meets World' came out over 20 years ago. I remember watching TGIF lineup and thinking it was the best television ever. Boy Meets World, Step By Step, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, Full House... In reality they were all crap, but don't tell that to anyone from "Generation-Whatever-We-Are". That was TV gold.

So I was really nervous about 'Girl Meets World'. Bringing back Cory and Topanga is the best recipe for nostalgia, or the best recipe for complete disaster. To best understand the new show, I made sure to watch the pilot of BMW immediately following the pilot of GMW. So here's what I thought.

My first impression was that GMW is definitely a Disney show. It's got every gross trappings of a 'That's So Raven' or some other nonsense I would never subject myself to. But at the same time, it's cute. Maybe it's because I'm a father now, but I can imagine my son really enjoying it. If he were like 8 years older. Currently all he likes is sticking his hand in piss and shit while I try to change his diaper. 

Rowand Blanchard plays Riley Matthews, the oldest of 3 kids by Cory and Topanga. So far I'm pretty indifferent about her. Her best friend is a wild child, she's got a crush on the new boy at school, and her dad is also her teacher. It's a standard character, in a standard pilot, but I will say this. The show's theme song, recorded by her, is pretty sweet. I dare you to not get it stuck in your head. "Take on the World".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDz4a9AlQ94

The scene stealer, by far was Jackee Harry. It's a bit part, but she plays a typical New York City subway commuter. Every line she delivers is spot on, I just hope she gets to be a series regular. And I miss her from the 80s #227. Also, that's gotta be the cleanest NYC subway car, and platform ever.

My only complaints are small, and maybe irrelevant as the series progresses past the pilot. Topanga was hardly there at all. I read a couple of reviewers afterwards, and they all complained about the lack of Danielle Fishel in the pilot. After watching the 'Boy Meets World' pilot, I would like to remind them that Topanga only had about 20 seconds of screentime.

Shawn, played by Rider Strong, also wasn't in the pilot, but he will be joining the show in the next aired episodes.

Finally, Cory is no where near the level of Mr. Feeny, William Daniels, as he gets run over roughshod by his students, and his daughter. My wife would tell you that it was extremely poor classroom management. And she'd be right. It was kind of unbelievable,

I also didn't make the connection that the goofball character Farkle is Minkus' until I looked it up on IMDB. Really? Your last name is Minkus, and you name your son Farkle? Like the dice game? That's child abuse.

Overall, I'd say watch it. It only takes 23 minutes of your life, and it'll remind you of the early nineties. I liked the nineties. It was fun.

Thanks for reading, and yes. I refused to address the fact that I haven't posted anything in months. 

#JustWrite