Tuesday, February 23, 2016

MLB Stadiums

I haven't been posting too often lately. The problem with not writing often is that the skills diminish, and when you do end up writing, it's total garbage. My last post was shit, and I didn't even self-promote it like I usually do. But, I had a conversation tonight with a Cubs fan about Wrigley vs. US Cellular. It prompted me to think about, and want to write about, the different stadiums I've been to. I've been to 15 (unless I'm forgetting somewhere), so I will try and keep each review to 2 sentences or less.

Yankee Stadium
I grew up in a Yankee fan family. I hate the Yankees, but went to 13 games there by the time is was 7.

Shea Stadium
I was born in Queens, NY, a couple of miles from the Stadium. I went to 3 games, and remember most the orange wire player cutouts, and my favorite players from the 1986 Champions. I was 5.

Fenway Paaahhk
They threw hotdogs at us, the 'Green Monster' obstructed most of left field, the accents are obnoxious, and most Boston sports fans are dicks.

Turner Field
I didn't actually see a game at Turner, but their concourse is open to the public in the off-season. It felt more like a strip mall/casino hybrid than a ballpark.

PNC Park
I can't remember the game, who played the Pirates, or who won. I guess that means the park was just forgettable.

Citizens Bank Park
Been there a few times, and loved the atmosphere and friendly fans. I will say that 'Philly Cheese Steaks' are grossly overrated. I'd rather have and Italian Beef.

Great American Ballpark
Nice place to watch a game, despite its presumptuous name. Coolest part was caps were on clearance a couple of weeks after the Civil Rights Game, White Sox vs Reds. My caWp cost 10 bucks.

Tiger Stadium
What. A. Dump. There was a warehouse on fire across the street from the stadium. Detroit fans didn't even seem to notice.

Comerica Park
Comerica is a fancy, new ballpark. What it lacks in personality, it makes up with douchebag fans that stole a Tiger's cap that I never really wanted.

Comiskey Park
Nothing but fond memories, but I was only 9 when it closed. I always step on the old home plate when I go to...

US Cellular Field
I still go to around a dozen games a year. It's only 2 miles from my house. If, and when you visit the Cell make sure to eat a cheddarwurst, corn off the cob, and get a frozen margarita from one of the vendors, or 'ghostbusters', as I call them.

Wrigley Field
If you're a fan of pissing in/ smelling troughs, obstructed views, annoying fans, overpriced parking, and the crappiest team in MLB history, Wrigley is the venue for you. I will say, the food behind home plate on the upper deck is pretty tasty.

Jacobs/ Progressive Field
Not a terrible place to see a game. But, close to Lake Erie and Cuyahoga River, it was more windy than even The Windy City.

Miller Park
Milwaukee is weird. There's good food, and tons of space for tailgaiting. We sat in the left field bleachers, but their 3 upper decks looked like the steepest, scariest seats I have ever seen.

Dodger Stadium
We didn't have cash to pay the scalper, so he GAVE us the tickets, trusting we'd pass him the cash after we hit the ATM. That is next-level trust, and totally unexpected from LA. Refreshing. The stadium built into a mountain was pretty impressive, too.

Globe Life Park in Arlington
Nice park. To be honest, we were more excited to spend time with my Texas cousins than watch the game. Toddlers ran amok. But definitely worth the price of admission.

Couple of side notes before I get tired of writing, or you get tired of reading.

**There's a decent chance we'll get to see the White Sox play the Angels in Anaheim this July. Isaiah and I may crash one of Katie's teacher conferences.

**In 2004 I watched the Montreal Expos play the Florida Marlins at US Cellular Field. Hurricane Frances had already hit with Hurricane Ivan on the way. Montreal had some motocross even so they couldn't host a relocation. Weird, watching a NL home game at our AL field.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Peace, and long life. -J

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Maze Runner

Now, typically I avoid reviewing a movie right after I've seen it. I like to see a movie at least twice before I pass judgment. Occasionally, a movie, show, or book is so brilliant or so crappy, that I can talk about it immediately. 'Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials' is one such a movie.

Before  I get into it, I apologize to my wife for being in a foul mood and snapping at her. Our puppy is an imbecile and likes to eat tissues, toilet paper, and dirty toddler diapers. I snapped at her because I was tired, but it wasn't her fault. It wasn't my fault. It was our asshat dog's fault. Sorry.

But, back to the lecture at hand.

It was kind of nice today (for February in Chicago) so I, Isaiah, and Rory, needed an excuse to get out of the house. CVS is only a mile and a half away, and they have an outdoor RedBox. There are a few movies I've wanted to rent and they have them, so I took the dog and toddler for a walk. We got 'Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials' and 'Pitch Perfect 2'. I guess it's sequel night at the Smith Household.

I'm halfway through Maze Runner 2. I wish I was watching something else. I already stopped it once, because I'm so bored. The first one was entertaining, but derivative. It's a rehash of 'The Hunger Games', 'Divergent', and all the way back to 'Lord of the Flies', by William Golding in 1954. On a side note, if you want to watch a really brilliant version of a similar story, check out the Japanese film 'Battle Royale'. I digress.

'The Scorch Trials' is hard to watch. The characters are bland. The plot isn't worth attention. The dialogue, is crap, when existent. The acting isn't terrible, but what could they possibly have done under the circumstances?

I probably shouldn't complain. It cost me just over a buck. But a buck, and 3 miles walking, with a toddler and dog, in Chiberia, I could have just gotten something else OnDemand or AmazonPrime. I pray to the movie gods that Pitch Perfect 2 is better. At least I know Isaiah will enjoy the music.

Thanks for reading. Don't be an assbutt.